Wife lacking passion
My wife and I have been married for 2.5 years (together for 6), are ~30 years old, and have a very deep and meaningful relationship on many levels. We spend lots of time together and truly enjoy each other's company. We recently bought a house and both have great jobs we enjoy. Our lives are very secure and happy, but I feel as if the passion has left. My wife recently told me she loves me unconditionally and wants to be with me forever; however, she has not been feeling sexually attracted to me for some time. I know that pain during sex has been a significant problem for her over the past couple years and she has been to numerous doctors, none of which have been able to provide any insight. Sex is not enjoyable for her as it is for me. We are continuing to search for solutions to the pain as she is really upset and feels “broken.”
What concerns me is that she has also has been having intense crushes, vivid dreams, and desires for an old friend and her boss over the past six months. I am starting to think her lack of passions for me is not entirely from the pain as she continues to have desires directed elsewhere. Is it something I did/did not do? She tells me she does not want to have these crushes and you cannot control what your mind is attracted to, but I am becoming very concerned about our relationship. I have no doubt in my mind she would never act on her feelings towards these other men, but it is very difficult for me to hear this when out passion is low. We have discussed these issues to death, but I have not felt we have been able to come to a resolution where either of us feels good about it. My wife is also seeing a therapist for learning how to open about her feelings as talking about these topics does not come easily to her. From a young age, she was forced to internalize her emotions for protection due to a broken household, and truly opening up to someone else is a challenge for her. Her mother is also going through a fight with cancer which also weighs heavily on her and been a major source of stress over the past year.
I need advice and would love to hear from anyone here if you have experienced something similar. What can I do to help her? What can I do to help us? I continue to love and support her unconditionally, but I am not feeling confident in the outcome so far. Thank you all in advance!
My wife and I have been married for 2.5 years (together for 6), are ~30 years old, and have a very deep and meaningful relationship on many levels. We spend lots of time together and truly enjoy each other's company. We recently bought a house and both have great jobs we enjoy. Our lives are very secure and happy, but I feel as if the passion has left. My wife recently told me she loves me unconditionally and wants to be with me forever; however, she has not been feeling sexually attracted to me for some time. I know that pain during sex has been a significant problem for her over the past couple years and she has been to numerous doctors, none of which have been able to provide any insight. Sex is not enjoyable for her as it is for me. We are continuing to search for solutions to the pain as she is really upset and feels “broken.”
What concerns me is that she has also has been having intense crushes, vivid dreams, and desires for an old friend and her boss over the past six months. I am starting to think her lack of passions for me is not entirely from the pain as she continues to have desires directed elsewhere. Is it something I did/did not do? She tells me she does not want to have these crushes and you cannot control what your mind is attracted to, but I am becoming very concerned about our relationship. I have no doubt in my mind she would never act on her feelings towards these other men, but it is very difficult for me to hear this when out passion is low. We have discussed these issues to death, but I have not felt we have been able to come to a resolution where either of us feels good about it. My wife is also seeing a therapist for learning how to open about her feelings as talking about these topics does not come easily to her. From a young age, she was forced to internalize her emotions for protection due to a broken household, and truly opening up to someone else is a challenge for her. Her mother is also going through a fight with cancer which also weighs heavily on her and been a major source of stress over the past year.
I need advice and would love to hear from anyone here if you have experienced something similar. What can I do to help her? What can I do to help us? I continue to love and support her unconditionally, but I am not feeling confident in the outcome so far. Thank you all in advance!