Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions.... - Page 10 - Talk About Marriage
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post #136 of 145 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 01:46 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

No, they haven't backed off and it is indeed causing his new wife some undo stress which isn't needed right now. Sorry I didn't respond yesterday brother was in an extremely bad spot yesterday and a lot of different things were hitting the fan but he is doing much better today. Doctors are thinking he will be able to go home by this weekend, but now he will be a few weeks behind on treatments so I am not sure how his cancer is going to react to that.

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post #137 of 145 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 11:02 PM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

She should cut those "friends" loose!
I will be back tomorrow with more to say on that. Another rough day.

Getting to go home this weekend will be great if they release him. Make sure to arrange for stair climbing helpers.
Is there a local cancer support group for caregivers or family?
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post #138 of 145 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 05:31 AM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Her focus is to be a W and mother. Again... she wants to "be there for him." She means well, very well. In crisis, she will not call on you / family being this is a "trial by fire" for her. Hopefully things will become stable and she will be more approachable. What she is doing, is 110% normal. Is it to benefit ALL, no but is it with good intentions..... yes it is.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #139 of 145 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:45 AM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Hospice? Can they come in a few times a week to assist? They usually do.


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post #140 of 145 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 11:24 AM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

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Her focus is to be a W and mother. Again... she wants to "be there for him." She means well, very well. In crisis, she will not call on you / family being this is a "trial by fire" for her. Hopefully things will become stable and she will be more approachable. What she is doing, is 110% normal. Is it to benefit ALL, no but is it with good intentions..... yes it is.
They live with her parents, so I expect they will be helping out a lot with the baby etc, especially while she visits her husband. Also her mum may well be doing all the cooking and housework and washing etc, so she is getting a lot of help.
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post #141 of 145 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 12:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

I have already suggested hospice to them and his wife and my brother have turned it down. She is also getting a lot of help from everyone so it isn't like she is in this alone and not able to do anything, I mean Grandma has been watching over my nephew a lot lately But mostly only because he is in the hospital. I also told her awhile ago that she needed to cut these friends off because they were not true friends for more than a few reasons. Doctors think Sunday he should be able to go home but they aren't making any promises and nor would I want them to if they can't keep it. But my brother is doing so much better then he was can't possibly thank his doctors and nurses enough.
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post #142 of 145 (permalink) Old 03-19-2017, 10:58 PM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

I am still not strong enough to type much.
You're right about not going home until he's well enough.
I'm glad he's doing better! I bet he can't wait to see his son!
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post #143 of 145 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 10:49 PM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

I found a great group on Facebook called The lymphoma club. I scrolled down and found this inspiring post. Never give up! The group also has a way can connect with someone his age and same diagnosis if you wish. That is private. They have a form to fill out online for that. Open group.

Here is the post. Never give up! This is my first attempt at uploading a screenshot!
Well, I couldn't upload it! Go to that page and look for the post from yesterday with an 87 year old man who had the same diagnosis as your brother. He was told he was too old to get treated! He's been in remission for two years. Obviously they sought a second opinion!

I tried again to add it here but it doesn't like my iPad I guess!

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post #144 of 145 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:27 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Welp brother is finally home after what seems like forever he spent in the hospital. He couldn't make it up the stairs so he slept on the couch but he said it was still a hundred times more comfortable than the hospital bed. And thank you for the suggestions he is already in a few support groups just not sure if he has been totally active as of late which is understandable. His wifes friends stopped by earlier today and I honestly can't stand them and I don't know why she keeps them around, she will keep around people whom harbor ill will towards my brother but doesn't want me around to help her and my brother and nephew when I hold nothing but love for them all. Just doesn't make sense to me, but ya know what do I know?
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post #145 of 145 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 08:10 PM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

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Welp brother is finally home after what seems like forever he spent in the hospital. He couldn't make it up the stairs so he slept on the couch but he said it was still a hundred times more comfortable than the hospital bed. And thank you for the suggestions he is already in a few support groups just not sure if he has been totally active as of late which is understandable. His wifes friends stopped by earlier today and I honestly can't stand them and I don't know why she keeps them around, she will keep around people whom harbor ill will towards my brother but doesn't want me around to help her and my brother and nephew when I hold nothing but love for them all. Just doesn't make sense to me, but ya know what do I know?
I'm very sorry you and your family are going through this. It is very hard when someone you love is in such a dire situation.

Hopefully this will go into remission and he will recover, but if he does not, he will need a will to make sure that your family has visitation with the child or you will have to go to court for it. There is no guarantee that it would be granted if you end up in court. But if he has it in his will and includes that if anything happened to the child's mother than he wants your family to have guardianship of the child, that will hold a lot of strength in court and should help you have rights to have a relationship with the child.


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Standard Evidence Thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...ence-post.html
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