Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions.... - Page 13 - Talk About Marriage
General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

User Tag List

 176Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #181 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 07:49 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 69
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

The get togeather worked for well as long as people were here but once family and friends left he went back to be standoffish with everyone and just wanting to be left alone. He has honestly never been so antisocial like this before hoping it is just the depression and that once he gets back to being leveled out on his meds he will go back to being his happy self. Otherwise we are in for a long slow recovery not that we aren't already on that road just will be more difficult and slow.

Justaverage is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #182 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-12-2017, 10:35 PM
Member
 
Seasong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 259
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

How many more treatments does he have left? Has he had any radiation?

I hope the meds work soon! Has he lost interest in showering or changing clothes (basic hygiene)? I hope he didn't misinterpret what those girls said thinking his wife said it (or misheard who was speaking). He can keep hope for his son for now.
Seasong is offline  
post #183 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-12-2017, 11:23 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 69
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seasong View Post
How many more treatments does he have left? Has he had any radiation?

I hope the meds work soon! Has he lost interest in showering or changing clothes (basic hygiene)? I hope he didn't misinterpret what those girls said thinking his wife said it (or misheard who was speaking). He can keep hope for his son for now.
One more and yes he has had radiation.

Well when he had little to no energy he couldn't get in and out of the bathtub/shower without help from his wife and now that he has had some energy return and now that he can do it alone his hygiene has been going down the toilet so to speak. I have just wrote it off as his depression and that when he gets leveled off on the meds things will go back to normal. His wife told me he isn't interested in sex sooooo I guess it is still depression but I don't know. I know his wife talked to the doctors alone about these things and they changed up his meds I am assuming as a result. I know he has shown some resentment towards her but it has been getting better the last couple of days.
Justaverage is offline  
 
post #184 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 10:15 PM
Member
 
Seasong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 259
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

That's great news just one more treatment! "Just" really isn't the right word but you know what I mean!
And good to hear the new meds seem to be working! Good thing he's got such loving family to back him up. Never give up!
Seasong is offline  
post #185 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-16-2017, 08:42 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 69
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Yeah Everyone is really ready for this whole ordeal to be over and sorry I haven't checked in, in a few days. Just been a very eventful weekend with Easter and all. My brother and his wife and nephew make a really cute family when they can manage not to want to kill one another or when my brother isn't seriously considering divorce, Yeah it was one of those down weekends at least until today when something in him snapped and he was back to being the guy I know. And turned into that loving and caring family guy who is enamored with his son. Not sure if meds are starting to work or if he just got out of the funk he was in.
Justaverage is offline  
post #186 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 06:58 PM
Member
 
frusdil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,927
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Your brother may well be depressed JA, or it could simply be that he is so weak from the chemo that he literally can't care for himself - showering etc. Knowing that he'll be wiped out for the rest of the day from it probably makes it all too hard to even bother. Chemo is a shocker...it really does a number on a person.

It could also be a combination of both of the above...

How are you coping? And your parents? Did you all get together over Easter?
frusdil is offline  
post #187 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 09:55 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 69
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Yes, we had a big family get togeather and about the only time he has been in a decent mood was on easter like I said before that Sunday he kept saying he wanted a divorce ext. Oh I am coping about as well as I can I guess some of the things his wife has opened up to me about have been deep and others are on that TMI area because it is my brother and all. Parents are stressed they defiantly are worried about him between the infection and how he was running around carrying his son Sunday they worry he will overdue it. But they are about the most level headed people I know and have been going through this much better then everyone else which has been surprising. See if he goes back to being depressed or if he can keep being happy and back to normal when I go over to see them tomorrow.
Justaverage is offline  
post #188 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 11:00 PM
Member
 
Seasong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 259
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Hopefully all goes well tomorrow for his last session! You all will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow!
I'm so glad you and your sis in law got a lot closer, as she did really need your help. Brother's the one who'd really be mortified I'm sure, regarding the tmi issues. Caregivers have some tough things to push through and handle. Soon enough and you all can breathe for awhile!
Seasong is offline  
post #189 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 08:08 AM
Member
 
frusdil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,927
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

How are things today JA?
frusdil is offline  
post #190 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 09:29 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 69
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Not well, Brother is in the hospital and is remaining there for awhile last treatment did a number on him that is for sure. But now we wait and see if he has the cancer beat and if not, not sure where it goes from here. Everyone is on edge though his wife most of all and also hoping for the best and believing that he has this beat. Other then that honestly not sure what to say I am so on edge and worried and yet also excited at the possibility that he probably has this beat and we can move on from this very dark time.

Justaverage is offline  
post #191 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 09:52 PM
Forum Supporter
 
heartbroken50's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,849
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Been lurking on your thread for a while... but just wanted to let you know your family is in my prayers. I do hope that your brother has this beat.

Mr HB is battling cancer as well so your story hits close to home.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
heartbroken50 is offline  
post #192 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-23-2017, 09:41 PM
Member
 
Seasong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 259
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

How is he doing? Sorry, I've been too weak to type but I've been thinking about you all!

When does he go in for his scans? I know, excitement all around!! The thought of moving on is wonderful.
Seasong is offline  
post #193 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-24-2017, 01:50 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 69
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Things are Ok Wouldn't say they are well by any stretch of the imagination. He and his wife seem to be getting more distant well not by his wifes choice anyways and so still waiting for him to snap out of this crap he is in . But his scans will take place on May 10th, Hoping for the best preparing for the worst. Everyone is on edge hoping and praying he has this thing beat.
Justaverage is offline  
post #194 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-24-2017, 02:42 PM
Member
 
Seasong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 259
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

If he can't be convinced to get some marriage counseling she should go and get some treatment herself to get started. Is he out of the hospital?
They've been through so much in such a short period of time. Hopefully positive scan results will ease pressure and help him mentally. However, even if the news is great, he may stay on the edge for a while, even if he doesn't verbalize it. I know May can't On my way! Soon enough!

Last edited by Seasong; 04-24-2017 at 08:43 PM.
Seasong is offline  
post #195 of 203 (permalink) Old 04-25-2017, 12:48 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 69
Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Yeah it really can't, It is ironic and funny I used to be so concerned and didn't like his wife because I wasn't sure of her motives or intentions and now I am the one that likes her and has grown kind of close with her and now my brothers marriage seems to be falling apart over something her friends said that he still believes she said or agrees with. I suggested marriage counseling but he balked at it and it only made him angry. I have also tried sitting him down and explaining that she has cut those friends off as he clearly can see as they are not around anymore and that she cares for him a lot as evidence of having his child and sticking with him through these extremely rough times so he needs to man up and get past this crap and get back to the guy I know and love his very loyal wife. And well he responded in a way that caught me off guard and he told me to get out and not come back. So like I said things are rough at home right now and I am not sure what to make of what is going on with my brother.
Justaverage is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome