Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions.... - Page 8 - Talk About Marriage
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post #106 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 03:44 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

We live about 45mins to an hour away, And his name is Brandon. They still haven't released him to go home I don't know if something is going on or if they are just being extra cautious but I am a little worried in all honesty. I wasn't able to stop by today because of work and going to see my boyfriend and I honestly felt guilty going to see my boyfriend instead of my brother. I don't know why it is bothering me as much as it is, But I feel like it shouldn't bother me so much. I will try and talk to his doctors and see if they can admit him earlier next time because the reaction this time has been nothing short of horrendous.

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post #107 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 08:14 AM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Has your brother considered Cannabis?

-----------------------------------------

"A day doesn’t go by where I don’t see a cancer patient who has nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, pain, depression and insomnia,” says Dr. Donald
Abrams, chief of hematology-oncology at San Francisco General Hospital and a professor of clinical medicine at the University of California, San Francisco.

Marijuana, he says, “is the only anti-nausea medicine that increases appetite.”

It also helps patients sleep and elevates their mood—no easy feat when someone is facing a life-threatening illness.

"I could write six different prescriptions, all of which may interact with each other or the chemotherapy that the patient has been prescribed.

Or I could just recommend trying one medicine,”


A 2014 poll conducted by Medscape and WebMD found that more than three-quarters of U.S. physicians think cannabis provides real therapeutic benefits.

And those working with cancer patients were the strongest supporters: 82 percent of oncologists agreed that cannabis should be offered as a treatment option.

Dr. Benjamin Kligler, associate professor of family and social medicine at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, says there has been enough research to prove that at a bare minimum cannabis won’t actually harm a person.

In addition, “given what we've seen anecdotally in practice I think there's no reason we shouldn't see more integration of cannabis in the long run as a strategy,” he says.

"We have this extremely safe, extremely useful medicine that could potentially benefits a huge population.”

-------------------------------

At least let him and his wife read the above information.


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post #108 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 11:27 PM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

@dianaelaine59 ,
maybe @Kristin2849 can give some info on the tincture or edibles. Too dangerous to smoke it!

A lot of oncologists are willing to allow this, and even prescribe it it help ease symptoms. It depends on what your laws are like. And your brother's thoughts. Be worth reading up on it and finding out what his care team thinks.


Edit. @kristin2349

Brain cancer caused by primary CNS Lymphoma Large diffuse cell b
Very aggressively treated, very rare out of the brain cancers, so the treatments
Make him extremely sick, weak, fatigued, etc.

Last edited by Seasong; 03-08-2017 at 12:02 AM. Reason: Errors in name spelling
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post #109 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 11:49 PM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

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We live about 45mins to an hour away, And his name is Brandon. They still haven't released him to go home I don't know if something is going on or if they are just being extra cautious but I am a little worried in all honesty. I wasn't able to stop by today because of work and going to see my boyfriend and I honestly felt guilty going to see my boyfriend instead of my brother. I don't know why it is bothering me as much as it is, But I feel like it shouldn't bother me so much. I will try and talk to his doctors and see if they can admit him earlier next time because the reaction this time has been nothing short of horrendous.
Because his type of cancer is so aggressive, they have to go at it just as aggressively. He's young, and inside he's strong. Weak right now from the chemo but he's in good hands. They are smart to keep him in because he must have gotten severely dehydrated, and that plus dealing the week after chemo can make you more prone to get sick. It sounds like they know their stuff.

It's good you spent time at your boyfriend's. You need to recharge, and to spend time with loved ones so you don't break down yourself! Stay positive! Educate yourself about his treatments so you feel more settled.

How is wife and baby! I hope he goes home soon, but not before he's good and ready! They won't give him the treatment again unless his body is strong enough. I prayed for him as well. You are doing great! I am in awe of his strength and determination.
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post #110 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 01:59 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Yes we have thought about that but it is not legal in our state, They have thought about moving temporarily but that is such a drastic step. And I was able to find out that he has an infection going on right now which is why he is having such adverse reactions right now and thus why they have been keeping him. They are going to keep him in the hospital until they have the infection under control and taken care of which I am hoping is quickly. His wife is definitely stressed right now and probably a tinge depressed I have noticed. New baby plus this and now the complications of this infection are taking its toll on her but she is a fighter and she is putting on a brave face for my brother. Nephew is growing and is cute as ever.
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post #111 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:04 AM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

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Yes we have thought about that but it is not legal in our state, They have thought about moving temporarily but that is such a drastic step. And I was able to find out that he has an infection going on right now which is why he is having such adverse reactions right now and thus why they have been keeping him. They are going to keep him in the hospital until they have the infection under control and taken care of which I am hoping is quickly. His wife is definitely stressed right now and probably a tinge depressed I have noticed. New baby plus this and now the complications of this infection are taking its toll on her but she is a fighter and she is putting on a brave face for my brother. Nephew is growing and is cute as ever.


What state are you in if I may ask?


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post #112 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:24 AM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

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Yes we have thought about that but it is not legal in our state, They have thought about moving temporarily but that is such a drastic step. And I was able to find out that he has an infection going on right now which is why he is having such adverse reactions right now and thus why they have been keeping him. They are going to keep him in the hospital until they have the infection under control and taken care of which I am hoping is quickly. His wife is definitely stressed right now and probably a tinge depressed I have noticed. New baby plus this and now the complications of this infection are taking its toll on her but she is a fighter and she is putting on a brave face for my brother. Nephew is growing and is cute as ever.
Its illegal in my country the Uk, which I am not sorry about. The less such drugs that are legal the better, and if he has an infection, that why he is feeling so bad.
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post #113 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 10:23 PM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Your nephew sounds adorable! Does he look like his dad? They change so much the first few months.

So it is an infection. I know everyone will be glad to get him home! You all care so much for each other. That support line will continue to help him stay positive, and you guys as well.

It is legal in our state for medicinal purposes but no way to get it yet.
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post #114 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 02:13 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

He has my brother's deep blue eyes so he at least got the good part of my brother lol. Yeah it is an infection and it seems to be kicking the crap out of my brother but his doctors and nurses seem confident he will get to go home by sometime next week and rest up for awhile. I can only imagine how tired my SIL is right now but when I asked her if there was anything I could do today at the hospital she just gave me the cold shoulder. So I don't know what to do wanna be helpful but I can't make her take my help. Doctors seem to think he picked it up at the wedding for some reason which is bothering and Honestly don't understand that.
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post #115 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 03:27 AM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

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He has my brother's deep blue eyes so he at least got the good part of my brother lol. Yeah it is an infection and it seems to be kicking the crap out of my brother but his doctors and nurses seem confident he will get to go home by sometime next week and rest up for awhile. I can only imagine how tired my SIL is right now but when I asked her if there was anything I could do today at the hospital she just gave me the cold shoulder. So I don't know what to do wanna be helpful but I can't make her take my help. Doctors seem to think he picked it up at the wedding for some reason which is bothering and Honestly don't understand that.
He may have done as they are a lot of people at a wedding and someone may well have had an illness of some sort, or have been just getting over something or just starting something.
She is blessed to have her parents there all the time to help isn't she.

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post #116 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 02:55 PM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

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He has my brother's deep blue eyes so he at least got the good part of my brother lol. Yeah it is an infection and it seems to be kicking the crap out of my brother but his doctors and nurses seem confident he will get to go home by sometime next week and rest up for awhile. I can only imagine how tired my SIL is right now but when I asked her if there was anything I could do today at the hospital she just gave me the cold shoulder. So I don't know what to do wanna be helpful but I can't make her take my help. Doctors seem to think he picked it up at the wedding for some reason which is bothering and Honestly don't understand that.
I am VERY sorry for your brother's situation. My pop had cancer and took radiation and chemo. Pop was an old-school hard a$$ "by God" and I watched it zap him. He screamed, he cussed (denial) but then accepted. Mom had cancer last year and dementia robbed her of her ability to comprehend basic conversations. I remembered mom always said she would try radiation but no chemo. She saw what it did to her parents and spouse.

Your SiL is a young mother and W. God knows the stress she is under. Yes she could use all the help she can get but.... she is insulating her H because she wants to be a good W. This is completely normal. If she openly accepted your family's help, she may feel it makes her look like a lazy / bad W.

To you, she appears to want to be in charge. Good bet she does but would welcome all the assistance possible. She just does not want your family to look down on her as not being a good W. If your brother depended upon you more than his W, yes that would really bother his W. She may see this as a "power struggle." Give her time.... she will come around. Just let her know you are there to help in any way possible.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #117 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 12:32 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

Thanks, Today wasn't the best day honestly they moved him to ICU because it is just a cleaner area and they need to be able to watch him closer. Not sure if it is normal or anything and Now I am just honestly far more worried than I normally would be one day they say he is doing great and probably going to be going home by the end of the weekend to being moved to the ICU. He didn't look any worse when I went by and was thankfully in good spirits.
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post #118 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 01:45 AM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

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Thanks, Today wasn't the best day honestly they moved him to ICU because it is just a cleaner area and they need to be able to watch him closer. Not sure if it is normal or anything and Now I am just honestly far more worried than I normally would be one day they say he is doing great and probably going to be going home by the end of the weekend to being moved to the ICU. He didn't look any worse when I went by and was thankfully in good spirits.
Prayers to your family and brother

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #119 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 06:25 AM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

sure why not. It is only recently that a 22 year old woman is regarded as being "young and immature". LOL.

At 22 years old, my wife had 200 people in a high tech factory working for her.

AND they are living together and she has his kid on the way I am sure she can meet the requirements of this gig.

I have seen people suffering at the end of life...I would not want to go thru that....He wants her to be able to evaluate and make those sort of decisions. I would offer to help her out thru this all, but go along with the brothers wishes.
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post #120 of 151 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 07:05 PM
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Re: Brother wants to marry his girlfrend and let her make life and death decisions...

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Yeah it is an infection and it seems to be kicking the crap out of my brother but his doctors and nurses seem confident he will get to go home by sometime next week and rest up for awhile. I can only imagine how tired my SIL is right now but when I asked her if there was anything I could do today at the hospital she just gave me the cold shoulder. So I don't know what to do wanna be helpful but I can't make her take my help. Doctors seem to think he picked it up at the wedding for some reason which is bothering and Honestly don't understand that.
His immune system would be almost non existent honey, the chemo would have taken care of that. They will have moved him to ICU because it's cleaner, and less foot traffic so less chances of germs etc. My Dad at one stage was moved from a ward to his own room, because his immune system was so low from the chemo...he was terrified about it but that's honestly all it was.

You're so right, you can't make your SIL accept your help...all you can do is offer it. If she refuses, that's on her...
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