Ross

im 28 and we have been married just over a year now and we had a new born 7weeks ago, the other nite i went out for my Christmas party with work i got drunk and ended up dancing with with a girl she invited me back to hers like a fool i went but when we got to her door i said thanks for a good nite and walked away i was really proud of my self as she was stunning i came home alone. morning came my wife comes down and my phone rings its her i dnt know how she got my number but i didnt give it to her, i told my wife who she was and that i walked away she didnt beleave me. we had the same problem last yeah before i got married but she forgave me and we was ok, now shes gone and i know she wont come back she has my son and i cant bare it i dont know what to do! its almost christmas everything is destroyed because of my stupidness
i cant face my family i just sit here crying in my sons room. i cant face not watching him grow up. she wont reply to me or answer my calls, i miss them both so much

EleGirl

I'm sure you know what you did that was wrong.

Why didn't you take your wife to the party?

All you can do is to be the best you can be and hope she comes around. Look at the Plan A and Plan B link in my signature below. That might help you.

Even though you are the one who did questionable behavior, you will need to do Plan A if you have any hope at all to get your wife back.


She was more than willing to enage in a physical affair with you even though you turned her down. She called you at home... So she was even willing to be disrespectful to your wife in her own home

Promise her that you will never go to a party again without her since you are vulnerable to drinking and using it was an excuse to cross the line.
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You also need to write a letter to the woman who you did this with. It's a no-contact letter. You have to tell her that what you did was wrong, that you hurt your wife who means everything to you and that you want no further contact with her. Write the letter and have your wife with you when you send it.

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chillymorn

slow learner the first time wasn't enough to not do it again.


well at least you didn't let it get too far and stopped it.

she is overly emotional with just having a baby so soon.

I would tell her your sorry and that life is full of tests and even though you went to her room in the end you passed a very dificult test because of your love for her and your new son.

SockPuppet

You put yourself into a position that allows you to cheat on your wife. You dont, and your proud of yourself for that. It is very clear to me that you have boundary issues in regards to your conduct with other women.

You want your wife to come back to you with your son. Stop flirting with other women. It really is that simple!

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Ross

shes so stubborn i scared that she wont come back, if i had a gun i would have just shot my self in the foot i know. i dont know why i put my self in them situations. trust me i hate my self i have no car so i cant go anywhere i cant face my friends or family as im afraid they will hate me for causing so much pain to her and them so im alone with my thoughts and pictures of them every where its killing me.

s.k

You say that you was really drunk so how do you know that you never gave her your number. The woman has got in there first hence calling the next morning. You just had a new baby so chances are shes an emotional wreck atm, if you know where she is tell her your really sorry and shes the only one for you. She forgave you the first time because you wasnt married there was no commitment there but now you are most importantly you have a son she does feel betrayed. You got alot to make up for, give it some time im sure she will come round

Ross

Christmas is around the corner i dont know where's shes gone i haven't tried to ring her only txt. everyone was so proud of our litte boy and looking forward to Christmas with him and i screwed it all up and now im hiding from everyone like a coward.

s.k

Dont hide call everyone who knows you and ask if they have heard from her you need to face the music at some point also call her she needs to hear the hurt in your voice not read it, anyone can send a text.

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

She doesn't believe you that nothing happened. The only "proof" she has is from the other woman. Why does this woman have your phone number anyway?

I would of done the same as your wife. Cheating is a dealbreaker for me. My husband does not even look at other women, at least when we are together he doesn't. How is she suppose to take your word for it? If nothing did happen, have her talk to this woman, maybe you can save your marriage.
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accept

I am not sure how are you so sure youve lost her. It may not be as bad as you think. I dont think you should be alone. You say you have family but cant face them. Well you must.
You must have other problems as well and this must be the straw.