Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: The Frozen North
Re: Men watch and learn
I have learned in nearly 40 years of marriage, not to try to fix emotional reactions, not suggest anything. Just support, I ask her to verbalize and keep going until she feels somewhat better. It is in a man's makeup to fix stuff. Women are more in touch with their emotions, so fixing stuff may not be their default position. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, I provide it. If she needs me to hold her up, I will hold her up. If she wants to rant and rave, I will provide the ear and a cup of tea.
I used to get mad at her stressors, then I found that she misread the anger, and thought it was directed at her. I learned that, my anger was not in any way productive, and therefore learned to put it aside, and be strong for her.