8 Months is nothing in the vetting phase... time is your friend here as so many things change, and change often as you learn and relearn the other person.
I say relearn because often that person is shifting right alongside with you, establishing boundaries and getting a feel for the attraction that took... a lot of affirmation going on here between you both and now is where you find the balance of acceptance and expectation.
Here's the trick... believing there isn't one, because there isn't.
Nothing in a relationship is "paint by numbers".
What it is, is the understanding that our lives are conditioned by our actions, or more-so the quality of our actions.
What we think and feel, how we act and react, is driven by our own sense of accountability. Those who call another out on such tend to be paying less attention to self and more on others... completely backwards.
If she is right about your accountability, ask her directly how you could make it better and listen to her suggestions but remember they are only that, application on them is totally you and if it doesn't feel right, perhaps it isn't. What that may tell you is this person could possibly not be your best fit in life and if it doesn't align, it doesn't align... nothing wrong in that either.
But if she is really right, and your heart and mind tell you that "yep, this is causing pain to myself and others", listen to it... that is pride removed and you are beginning to touch that mindfulness that moves and binds us with others.
The importance is that you begin to recognize it... then apply it.
Without clarity, control is a misused tool... so be clear.
If difficulty comes, and you feel you have done your best, share with her "I am sorry you feel that way", mean it with all you are, and then let it go.
If it stirs deeper, let her know you are doing your best, acknowledge that you hear her concern by paraphrasing it back in your own words and choose not to argue about it.
Pay attention to your actions and your reactions, thus paying attention to the dance of intentions and motivations in how arguments come... don't get codependent with it or downward spirals come and in the end your frustrations will take over your ability to understand what just happened.
Lots going on... think about it and ask questions should you need to.