Re: My SAHM wife is a slob!
Wow! I could only wish for a nanny and a housekeeper to come in and clean my bathrooms and do most of the deep cleaning once a week. While my kids are older now (7,9, and 12), I've always kept a pretty clean house. I agree that your wife is either WAY too into the baby or just being lazy. While it is difficult to keep up with toddlers, it isn't impossible. As far as cabinets go and dragging things out, where are your baby locks? Such wonderful inventions that have saved me a lot of time and frustration over the years.
My day yesterday (not today because I have had a migraine)
6:45- wake up, kids on bus and get ready for work
4:00- off of work and a 1/2 hour drive home
4:30- home and talking with my kids about day at school and about their Christmas parties.
Rest of the evening, I did 2 loads of laundry, bathed our 95lb lab that decided to roll in mud after being left outside for too long by herself (we live in the country), cooked a homemade dinner, picked up the entire house, did more laundry, scrubbed the bathroom from bathing the dog, clipped her nails, did some homework for myself, put away laundry and still managed to be in a great mood when my hubby walked in the door after 12 hours!
I discovered when my kids were little that if I kept the television and computer off that I could get quite a bit more accomplished throughout my day. I would DVR the shows that I wanted to watch and spent my mornings doing a load of laundry (if I did one each day it never got backed up and I always folded and put it away immediately), and doing general cleaning up that the day went much either. I blocked off areas of the house that I didn't want my children messing up with wonderful inventions called baby gates! If I had errands to run, guess what, the kids went with me! Imagine that! All of this while dealing with a hubby that was constantly deployed or away at training while he was in the Army. There was no assistance or help during these times.
Thankfully, my hubby is home now and when he doesn't work 12 hours is fantastic about helping out with chores, laundry and errands. Also, I'm a firm believer in chores once children are old enough to help, but even 2 year olds can pick up their own toys.
We tell our children that we aren't the only ones that eat, wear clothes, use the restroom and those types of things and that it isn't fair that Dad and I have to clean up all of it. Chores never hurt me when I was small and I learned to be self-sufficient when I moved out and how to keep a clean house.
I agree that some people are just not naturally clean or organized, but you shouldn't have to work 12 hours and come home to an absolute mess. Our final rule is that we do not go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, it makes for a rough morning around here and who wants to get up to a destroyed kitchen with nasty dishes everywhere.
I think your wife just needs to learn better time management skills, no, it doesn't have to be spotless, but it shouldn't be a disaster either, that's not fair to you after working all day.