Re: need your thoughts
Stop talking to her friends. They are her friends and not yours. Besides, it makes you look pathetic.
If you really wanted to know the guys name, all you would have to do is get on the phone to one of your volleyball buds and ask and if they didn't know, their wife would.
You two need to stop talking to others and start talking to each other. She doesn't want to talk and just wants to take a 'wait & see' stance? Have her served. Guarantee that will loosen her tongue. Insist on marriage counseling. Insist on setting up boundaries for the both of you.