Sounds like she may be projecting.
In other words, she says you don't act like you love her when actually that's how she feels about you.
Shat does SHE do to show she loves you? Concrete examples.
She cooks. She always keeps me well fed. I've put on 7lbs with her since she got pregnant!
She keeps the house immaculate.
She loves my family like her own.
She loves my daughters (10 and 12) like her own
She doesn't withhold sex... most of the time.
She dresses me with style
She keeps herself in great condition
I think i have had a small epiphony... everything she does is about serving, and not words. My primary love language (a 13) is words of affirmation. She always says that Words are worthless, actions speak. I tend to spout words of love, and she just doesn't need that. She wants actions (which I thought I was doing well...but obviously not well enough!!)
Little things set her off, like me playing a game on my phone after the girls are in bed or working too much. Or, a big wall-building time she had, was early on, she found a bunch of cards from my ex GF of 3+ years on my shelf in my office at home. I had forgotten they were there. I promptlly burned them to show they meant nothing to me, but she said she couldn't forgive me for not getting rid of them before. I had failed to go through my home with a fine-tooth comb before she moved in obviously! I quickly spend an afternoon scouring the house to ensure nothing was left from previous relationships...
I suppose I was a brute to leaving a stack of cards on my shelf... but you would think that burning them and apologizing would be a good step right?
This goes back to Actions. She has said, that a person gets 3 strikes. If they hurt the other person's feelings more then 3 times, they are out. I tried to reason with her that everyone hurts the other person's feelings at times, and that just wasn't happening, and it should be the good will they have toward the other person that counts. She has never apologized once to me, in our entire marriage... haha. The irony of it all.