General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
One thing I learned how to improve a marriage is thanking your spouse/SO and letting them know how much you appreciate them. I read an article to thank them even for the simple things like taking out the trash or cooking a meal. I personally thank my husband a few days a week whether it's telling him or writing an email. Sometimes I will come up with a corny poem, but he seems to appreciate things more and has started to thank me for things in return.
Today's email was---- "Thank you Honey for always being there for me when I need you.**Everyday you brighten up my day.**I love you!
P.S.**I'm still the luckiest woman in the world to have YOU as my husband." Posted via Mobile Device
Every day. I try to do it for those little things, but stuff (read kids) gets in the way of doing it as much as I should.
I left a thank you card in the laundry for her a while back, where I included a list of the things I am thank full that she does for me and for our family. I know I like it when people acknowledge the things I do at work, so I wanted to acknowledge the same for her as a SAHM.
I do not necessarily use the words "thank you" every time ...but I am a very enthusiastic barer of abounding appreciation when I feel it - I enjoy expressing it ! (of coarse this goes both ways, if you tick me off you will hear that too)
My husband does many things for me that...if I was him, I would likely show a little more irritation. ...... just like I crashed the Laptop yesterday, lost the net, add & remove programs disappeared, Google was another program -it was BAD ...here I was looking for links on multitasking housewives (ha ha don't look that up -some very naughty things will come up) ........ and he reformatted the whole computer for me last night, took him a few hours, he had a tiny attitude but be jumped right to it. And you know he apologized to me -even for that. He is wonderful. I am just so thankful for the way he IS.
On vacation, I accidentily deleted one of the videos I wanted -just going through my pics, I got carried away deleting & he saved that memory card & tried about 6 downloaded programs to get that thing back for me, even after I told him "it was ok, I didn't need it -it was my fault" , he ran into issue after issue, it wasn't there, it was broken, half of it worked, but he refused to give up ! You know he finally got it !! How excited I was.
There is just so many things to be thankful for, he goes above & beyond . Even when he comes home & the JOhn Deere awaits cause I broke yet another belt on hitting some rock or tree stump -trying to help him out, he just smiles and gets to work, he knows I meant well.
His attitude is amazing, this I am terribly thankful for.
I thank my husband when he does stuff. It's such a rare thing that he does anything.
He never thanks me for anything despite the fact that I have been the sole support of our family (and his kids) or years. It's one of my issues.... do not feel apreciated at all.
He never thanks me for anything despite the fact that I have been the sole support of our family (and his kids) or years. It's one of my issues.... do not feel apreciated at all.
Sometimes I feel at least SOME of this is how one was "raised"...as these things tend to carry over in life.
I have encouraged my kids to write thank you notes, or at the very least to verbally thank people for coming to their parties, giving gifts, to show appreciation when a kindness is done to them- always. And most espeically if it was not a necessary deed. Never never never let that go without a word.
My 2nd son does not care for our 4th son...as he is very very annoying sometimes & the kid did something for him about a month ago, I can not remember for the life of me now what it was (?). I could see my 2nd son didn't want to thank him -just caues it was his brother he usually can not stand........but he gritted his teeth and did it anyway, as he recognized it was a sacrifice on his part. We kinda made fun of him having such trouble, but he knew he simply HAD TO DO IT , and he did -with humble smile.
I have been married a long time and never got a thank you for anything. Its as though it wasnt in her dictionary at all. Neither was sorry or please. Well she could no wrong so what is there to be sorry for.
The last few weeks since I have come on here (no she doesnt know that) I have hardened my resolve and although I have always gone out to get her paper daily (which I dont read) I am getting a daily thank you as well. I am still waiting for a sorry, that she should once admit to doing something wrong. With her if she has an excuse and she always has one then its not wrong anymore. When she does use the word please its a command and said in that way, not a suggestion.
Sometimes I feel at least SOME of this is how one was "raised"...as these things tend to carry over in life.
I have encouraged my kids to write thank you notes, or at the very least to verbally thank people for coming to their parties, giving gifts, to show appreciation when a kindness is done to them- always. And most espeically if it was not a necessary deed. Never never never let that go without a word.
My 2nd son does not care for our 4th son...as he is very very annoying sometimes & the kid did something for him about a month ago, I can not remember for the life of me now what it was (?). I could see my 2nd son didn't want to thank him -just caues it was his brother he usually can not stand........but he gritted his teeth and did it anyway, as he recognized it was a sacrifice on his part. We kinda made fun of him having such trouble, but he knew he simply HAD TO DO IT , and he did -with humble smile.
My son thanks me for everything. When I cook a meal, he thanks me for the meal. If I buy him clothes.... everything.
But my husband? Nope.. was he raised that way? I'm not sure. I know his mother and sister. They are gracious people. I personally tink my husband is being selfish in just about everything he does. He apparently feels entitled to be supported and have everything doen for him. I've only recently been able to get him to do anything around the house.
I make sure to thank my husband any time he does something nice especially for me (which is quite often), like pump my gas, or bring me something I forgot at home. Sometimes I do it in person, sometimes with a text or email so he can look at it again next time I'm annoying the crap out of him
I also try really hard to thank him whenever he does things around the house, even though he's always been good about helping out. Usually it's just a quick kiss on the cheek and "thanks sweetness" when he takes out the trash or puts away some laundry, just enough to let him know that I don't take it for granted and I know how lucky I am. Like someone else said, though, life does sometimes get in the way. So at least a couple times a week I make a conscious effort to stop and tell him again how much I appreciate everything he does for me and the family. I think a little appreciation goes a long way with men.
Besides, he does the same for me.
One thing I learned how to improve a marriage is thanking your spouse/SO and letting them know how much you appreciate them. I read an article to thank them even for the simple things like taking out the trash or cooking a meal. I personally thank my husband a few days a week whether it's telling him or writing an email. Sometimes I will come up with a corny poem, but he seems to appreciate things more and has started to thank me for things in return.
Today's email was---- "Thank you Honey for always being there for me when I need you.**Everyday you brighten up my day.**I love you!
P.S.**I'm still the luckiest woman in the world to have YOU as my husband." Posted via Mobile Device
Aww I like your positive threads, THANK YOU!!
Every day I'm thanking him for something. haha it doesn't seem excessive in our daily life but it's true, I thank him a lot. These are the types of things I thank him for on various days.
Thanks for taking the dog out. Thanks SO much for making dinner, it's delicious. Thanks for cleaning the bathroom, it looks amazing. Thanks for listening and helping me with my work stuff ...etc. he'll respond with "sweetheart, you're so welcome"
Yesterday I left a note for him which said "Thank you for being the type of man I want to stay married to." We'd had a conversation about everything we'd been through this year. This isn't the most romantically-worded thing I've written to him but it's what I wanted to say.
Conversely, he thanks me a lot too: Thanks for making dinner. Thanks for cleaning the kitchen. Thanks for ironing my shirts, it gives me more time in the morning (haha this week I did that). Thanks for looking after the dog. And a few days ago as we woke up, he said "Thanks for being here every day and sharing my life with me."
But my husband? Nope.. was he raised that way? I'm not sure. I know his mother and sister. They are gracious people. I personally tink my husband is being selfish in just about everything he does. He apparently feels entitled to be supported and have everything doen for him. I've only recently been able to get him to do anything around the house.
I wonder if they were too gracious and did everything for him- that's why he feels entitled. I don't know, just pulling at straws ! Sometimes Mom's overdo it and do everything for their kids, then when they get married, especially men, they feel the wife is supposed to be as doting as the Mom was.... and do it all, while they just relax.
I wonder if they were too gracious and did everything for him- that's why he feels entitled. I don't know, just pulling at straws ! Sometimes Mom's overdo it and do everything for their kids, then when they get married, especially men, they feel the wife is supposed to be as doting as the Mom was.... and do it all, while they just relax.
No they did not do everything for him. He's the oldest of 4... has 3 younger sisters. His father walked out and disappeared when he was 13. He’s never seen his father since. His mother worked a full time job to support the 4 children. He worked after school from the age of 14 on and then cooked for his siblings and took care of them until his mom came home from work.
He and his sisters did chores to help their mom with housework.
In his previous marriage he supported his wife so she could stay at home.
It is beyond me why he thinks he can do what he’s doing. The only think I can think of is that I just have not thrown him out on his arse yet.
Elegirl, sounds like he was a VERY hard & young worker then , uber responsible, seems he comes from a great family (-minus the checked out dad ) - he has just gotten lazy over the years, stopped caring about what is important then. I guess that is why you are here, trying to figure it all out.
Rarely is anything all black or all white anyway - many shades of grey to why we are the way we are, what we have come to be.
Elegirl, sounds like he was a VERY hard & young worker then , uber responsible, seems he comes from a great family (-minus the checked out dad ) - he has just gotten lazy over the years, stopped caring about what is important then. I guess that is why you are here, trying to figure it all out.
Rarely is anything all black or all white anyway - many shades of grey to why we are the way we are, what we have come to be.
Yea, this is why I am here. I'm trying to figure this out and what to do about it. I'm tired of it.
My husband does it every day, from small things to big things.
It is a great feeling when you hear " Thank you for marrying me, you make my life very happy! You complete me! You make me a very happy man!" Etc. He says this when he gives me a tender kiss. Almost every day!
I am not good at expressing my feelings verbally, I am good at doing things to show my love and affection. But now I have learned to show my appreciation to him in words too. Very often I tell my man that I am happy now because of him. I thank him for giving me a happy and peaceful life. I also learned to achieve a peaceful mind because of him.
We both know how much we appreciate each other. We both know how important we are for each other.
How often do you thank your spouse/SO? 
I like your positive threads, THANK YOU!!
