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post #136 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 05:23 PM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Professional counselling is not cheap and its something that requires a dedicated schedule with a minimum of 6-10 sessions or so.

Of course the option is there - but I haven't considered it, given its not affected my life (been able to work, sleep, eat...) - unlike what my separation did to me. I was very depressed, but never suicidal.

Counsellors would listen to this stuff from the "horses mouth" so to speak they would dismiss reading printouts of forum boards like this. They will focus purely on your feelings and towards the end of the session ask you to scale your mood, depression, suicidal tendency etc.. the session would be more on your feelings - and assess what is important, why this is important to you. Likely the later sessions would focus more on various issues that steam back to your past.

I would debate it with a counsellor - like why this girl is important to me - and maybe would come to an assessment I admire strong alpha female character traits.
A good counselor will read it if you ask him to, and will get a lot of insight into what he needs to work with you on. Again, with no disrespect intended, I think you should take this to a pro. But I'm not going to argue further about it, I'm going to bow out of your thread now.


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post #137 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 06:33 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

I had the gall to ask out an amazing intelligent Italian woman. The goal of this thread was to try and assess her responses respectfully. If you felt your previous comment could be interpreted as disrespectful there is a private message option. Anyhow the ball is truly in her court now - I've made my feelings and intentions clear. I haven't apologised to her for asking her out.
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post #138 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 11:12 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Just now. Yes. First I had heard about it.
Well that really ****ty. She was really leading you on all this time just to say to you now that she has a boyfriend. I think she has more than just a communication problem, she has trouble relating to others.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #139 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 11:22 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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I had the gall to ask out an amazing intelligent Italian woman. The goal of this thread was to try and assess her responses respectfully. If you felt your previous comment could be interpreted as disrespectful there is a private message option. Anyhow the ball is truly in her court now - I've made my feelings and intentions clear. I haven't apologised to her for asking her out.
Please move on, she has a partner.
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post #140 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 11:56 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Well that really ****ty. She was really leading you on all this time just to say to you now that she has a boyfriend. I think she has more than just a communication problem, she has trouble relating to others.
I revealed the flowers were from me on the 19th Feb - at that point she could have told me she had a partner. She had kept her relationship private - and still has to this day on the whole. I don't feel she was leading me on.
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post #141 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 11:57 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Please move on, she has a partner.
I said my piece to her last week - I've not bothered her since with it. I wasn't going to dilute what I said to her - which was some kind character boosting stuff - with friendly cat videos.

Last edited by zeezack; 03-08-2017 at 12:02 PM.
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post #142 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 12:28 PM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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I revealed the flowers were from me on the 19th Feb - at that point she could have told me she had a partner. She had kept her relationship private - and still has to this day on the whole. I don't feel she was leading me on.
She should have told you immediately you sent the flowers. She isnt as wonderful as you make her out to be. How would you feel if you were her partner?
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post #143 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 01:24 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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She should have told you immediately you sent the flowers. She isnt as wonderful as you make her out to be. How would you feel if you were her partner?
Well this is getting back into the realm of interpretation isn't it. She did set boundaries though and its not like I am her bit on the side.

It is strange why she didn't tell me when I told her the flowers were from me. Its odd she kept the video of her getting the flowers on her social media channels - even after I revealed they were from me. So that video is still up. She also still has the flowers on her desk.

Last edited by zeezack; 03-08-2017 at 01:36 PM.
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post #144 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 10:13 PM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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She also still has the flowers on her desk.
Ewww!

Unless the flowers you sent her were a dry flower arrangement or plastic ones, they would be pretty damned manky by now.
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post #145 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 04:21 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Ewww!

Unless the flowers you sent her were a dry flower arrangement or plastic ones, they would be pretty damned manky by now.
Well - she told me that last Thursday.

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post #146 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 04:58 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Well - she told me that last Thursday.
Why are you still in contact with a woman who ia a) in a relationship and b) lied to you about the relationship?
You need to move on and meet a real life woman.
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post #147 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 05:10 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Well this is getting back into the realm of interpretation isn't it. She did set boundaries though and its not like I am her bit on the side.

It is strange why she didn't tell me when I told her the flowers were from me. Its odd she kept the video of her getting the flowers on her social media channels - even after I revealed they were from me. So that video is still up. She also still has the flowers on her desk.
The reason she posted the video of receiving the flowers is she needs to advertise how desirable she is, she gets off on the attention. The reason the video is still up is because she doesn't have a boyfriend, she lied about that trying to get you to back off. Do you think if she had a boyfriend she would want him to to see that video?

Given the opportunity this woman will take what she can from you, personally and professionally, but make this very clear in your head Zeezack, you will never every lay your hands about her pretty little body, the only person she is capable of being attracted to is herself.
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post #148 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 05:35 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Why are you still in contact with a woman who ia a) in a relationship and b) lied to you about the relationship?
You need to move on and meet a real life woman.
- She is a real life woman. The option of contact is still there, not that we have communicated since. A) yes so she is in a relationship and so what we have not crossed any boundaries. B) she wasn't forthcoming as such but she didn't lie.

Events only came to light about a week ago.
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post #149 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 05:38 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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The reason she posted the video of receiving the flowers is she needs to advertise how desirable she is, she gets off on the attention. The reason the video is still up is because she doesn't have a boyfriend, she lied about that trying to get you to back off. Do you think if she had a boyfriend she would want him to to see that video?

Given the opportunity this woman will take what she can from you, personally and professionally, but make this very clear in your head Zeezack, you will never every lay your hands about her pretty little body, the only person she is capable of being attracted to is herself.
"The reason she posted the video of receiving the flowers is she needs to advertise how desirable she is, she gets off on the attention."
^ possible.

"The reason the video is still up is because she doesn't have a boyfriend, she lied about that trying to get you to back off"
^ No I do think she has a boyfriend - she was telling the truth about that - I have identified him.

"Do you think if she had a boyfriend she would want him to to see that video?"
^ that is an odd thing - but then they are just flowers.

"Given the opportunity this woman will take what she can from you, personally and professionally"
^ well this is just back in the realm of assumption.

"but make this very clear in your head Zeezack, you will never every lay your hands about her pretty little body, the only person she is capable of being attracted to is herself"
^ I feel she is not as shallow as you make out. But again full of assumptions - based only what I have informed you about her. It wasn't really about me trying to grope her man - but possibly finding a life-partner.

Last edited by zeezack; 03-09-2017 at 05:47 AM.
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post #150 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 08:01 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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"The reason she posted the video of receiving the flowers is she needs to advertise how desirable she is, she gets off on the attention."
^ possible.

"The reason the video is still up is because she doesn't have a boyfriend, she lied about that trying to get you to back off"
^ No I do think she has a boyfriend - she was telling the truth about that - I have identified him.

"Do you think if she had a boyfriend she would want him to to see that video?"
^ that is an odd thing - but then they are just flowers.

"Given the opportunity this woman will take what she can from you, personally and professionally"
^ well this is just back in the realm of assumption.

"but make this very clear in your head Zeezack, you will never every lay your hands about her pretty little body, the only person she is capable of being attracted to is herself"
^ I feel she is not as shallow as you make out. But again full of assumptions - based only what I have informed you about her. It wasn't really about me trying to grope her man - but possibly finding a life-partner.
We'll I'm no detective, so my assumptions are based on the collaborative facts as you have given them and on real life experience and some good old common sense. I will rephrase my "hands on" comment to better address your true goal. I do not believe you will ever live happily ever after with this woman, and I do not believe you will ever land a date with this woman.
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