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post #76 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 11:30 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

She has explained a bit more - that she had been keeping her relationship private. She is a sweet girl.

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post #77 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 11:34 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

Welp, that ends that....

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

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post #78 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 01:27 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Welp, that ends that....
I still think she is a great girl. She took the time to explain and listen.
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post #79 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 03:17 PM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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She has explained a bit more - that she had been keeping her relationship private. She is a sweet girl.
If she is such a sweet girl, what is she doing contacting strange men out of the blue when she is in a relationship. I think she is playing you along for her own amusement.
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post #80 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 03:30 PM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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If she is such a sweet girl, what is she doing contacting strange men out of the blue when she is in a relationship.
Right??

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post #81 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 03:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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If she is such a sweet girl, what is she doing contacting strange men out of the blue when she is in a relationship. I think she is playing you along for her own amusement.
I think she only started dating this guy around Nov/Dec -- like I've said before - she contacted me back last Feb -- and she has always been non-leading on. I'm not a strange man, but a professional - in the same industry that she is in. I possibly expressed an interest in her too late, by the time I was developing feelings for her.

I've had a very hard 3 years - I had an abusive marriage - and I was very loyal to my wife, even when the divorce papers were sent - I wanted to try and repair the marriage. Even back in October I was still pining over my ex-wife. It was important to me - to become a father - but I couldn't commit to starting a family on an unstable marriage. So I experience a lot of loss.

This girl isn't to blame. She never led me on. I don't regret trying to invoke a relationship with her - except for the embarrassment its caused, but I do know this is a great woman.
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post #82 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 03:41 PM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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This girl isn't to blame. She never led me on......except for the embarrassment its caused, but I do know this is a great woman.
Hmmm... methinks I can see how you fell in with such a horrible woman previously. Please stay on your own for a while and work on yourself. You have a hairtrigger picker!

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post #83 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 03:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Hmmm... methinks I can see how you fell in with such a horrible woman previously. Please stay on your own for a while and work on yourself. You have a hairtrigger picker!
I've been on my own for 3 years and been always working on myself. This was the first time I started to have feelings for a new person.
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post #84 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 03:59 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

-

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post #85 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 10:10 PM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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I think she only started dating this guy around Nov/Dec -- like I've said before - she contacted me back last Feb -- and she has always been non-leading on. I'm not a strange man, but a professional - in the same industry that she is in. I possibly expressed an interest in her too late, by the time I was developing feelings for her.

I've had a very hard 3 years - I had an abusive marriage - and I was very loyal to my wife, even when the divorce papers were sent - I wanted to try and repair the marriage. Even back in October I was still pining over my ex-wife. It was important to me - to become a father - but I couldn't commit to starting a family on an unstable marriage. So I experience a lot of loss.

This girl isn't to blame. She never led me on. I don't regret trying to invoke a relationship with her - except for the embarrassment its caused, but I do know this is a great woman.
To be honest you know nothing about her except what she has told you. You haven't met her, you cant possible know what she is really like.
By strange I meant that she didn't know a thing about you. Its not something I would do, contact a man I knew nothing about.

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post #86 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 11:44 PM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

Attention is attention. It has nothing to do with her being "sweet" IMO.

She doesn't need to share the little nugget about having a boyfriend until she realizes you want to be in her life for more than stroking her ego. She's not interested in you enough to allow that.

So back into her orbit you go!

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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post #87 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 04:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Attention is attention. It has nothing to do with her being "sweet" IMO.

She doesn't need to share the little nugget about having a boyfriend until she realizes you want to be in her life for more than stroking her ego. She's not interested in you enough to allow that.

So back into her orbit you go!

Its not her fault. I had taken action and had started to simulate the possibilities. I was the only one preparing for a potential date to meet her on Sunday. I had invested in it emotionally.
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post #88 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 04:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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To be honest you know nothing about her except what she has told you. You haven't met her, you cant possible know what she is really like.
By strange I meant that she didn't know a thing about you. Its not something I would do, contact a man I knew nothing about.
"To be honest you know nothing about her except what she has told you. You haven't met her, you cant possible know what she is really like."
^ I was keen to meet her in person and get a more realistic picture of her.

"By strange I meant that she didn't know a thing about you. Its not something I would do, contact a man I knew nothing about."
^ it was a linkedin contact - being freelancers we network etc.. I thought the interaction was odd as it was more personal and relational to my issue at the time. But I've always thought highly of her since - in the background of my mind - I had hoped to give her some design work to help me with a project, so I was very interested in her professionally, but during speaking to her generally she always came off so polite and nice. She has such an ambition, passion and down to earth factor about her - it was easy to start feeling for her. I didn't feel or act on these background feelings until 1/2 a month ago. Then it became a hyped sense of anticipation (on my end) trying to follow through the steps of a possible heightened platonic, if not romantic interest. I am sure she has problems and I shouldn't place her on a pedistool - but you know I am a determined person - I know I would try and take the good with the bad.
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post #89 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 05:19 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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"May not be true, might just be her way of stopping any further date attempts by you"
^ just seems strange why she isn't forthcoming or why should lie - its ok for her to say - she is not looking for a relationship at the moment - or she doesn't share the same feelings.

"If she has her status as single and never mentions a boyfriend she is either lying to you or doesn't advertise having a boyfriend "
^her status is single. Hasn't mentioned a boyfriend - maybe she was seeing a guy back in August? Strange why should wouldn't tell me this - when she got the first batch of flowers.

"sorry, I had no idea, let's just keep it professional then".
^ yeah I did that -- it looked like she was writing a response - then didn't.
She lied because she realized you wanted something from her instead of her just taking from you. First she lied by omission, she never reveled she had a boyfriend, she appeared to be single. She does that on purpose so she can use her looks and charms to manipulate men. She will continue to act single until a guy pushes to hard, then she pulls out the boyfriend card, the boyfriend who may or may not exist. She is not the sweet wholesome girl you think, if she was the second you tried to take things to a personal level she would have said "sorry, I have a boyfriend" Did she do that? Nope. You asked her to meet, you sent her flowers twice, why didn't she say something then? Because she liked the attention and was still hoping to possibly get something out of you professionally, or possibly personally. And by personally I'm not talking romantically, I'm talking about attention or material things.

And sure she explained things out further after the fact, again that's not her being forthcoming, that's called damage control, she needs to leave you feeling like you misread things so she doesn't get outed to the world that she's manipulating her way thru life. She did a great job didn't she? You feel like this was all on you right?

Zeezack you sound like a nice guy, too nice. Stop trying to defend this woman as sweet and special, she knew exactly what you wanted and she knew exactly what she was doing by not being forthcoming. You never met her or spoke directly to her, you have this fantasy image in your head of a sweet little princess when in reality she could be a nasty ***** black widow feeding on men.

Last edited by Cooper; 03-03-2017 at 05:25 AM.
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post #90 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 06:10 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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She lied because she realized you wanted something from her instead of her just taking from you. First she lied by omission, she never reveled she had a boyfriend, she appeared to be single. She does that on purpose so she can use her looks and charms to manipulate men. She will continue to act single until a guy pushes to hard, then she pulls out the boyfriend card, the boyfriend who may or may not exist. She is not the sweet wholesome girl you think, if she was the second you tried to take things to a personal level she would have said "sorry, I have a boyfriend" Did she do that? Nope. You asked her to meet, you sent her flowers twice, why didn't she say something then? Because she liked the attention and was still hoping to possibly get something out of you professionally, or possibly personally. And by personally I'm not talking romantically, I'm talking about attention or material things.

And sure she explained things out further after the fact, again that's not her being forthcoming, that's called damage control, she needs to leave you feeling like you misread things so she doesn't get outed to the world that she's manipulating her way thru life. She did a great job didn't she? You feel like this was all on you right?

Zeezack you sound like a nice guy, too nice. Stop trying to defend this woman as sweet and special, she knew exactly what you wanted and she knew exactly what she was doing by not being forthcoming. You never met her or spoke directly to her, you have this fantasy image in your head of a sweet little princess when in reality she could be a nasty ***** black widow feeding on men.

It is strange why she didn't tell me she had a boyfriend - when I sent the first batch of flowers sure. I just wanted to meet her man to make these assessments in person properly. I am not going to blame her mistakes/behaviour on something I invoked myself really.
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