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post #121 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-05-2017, 10:29 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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post #122 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-05-2017, 10:51 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

No offense, but if you were telling me this in person I'd be worried. This is a venting board, but you are sounding very obsessed.
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post #123 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-05-2017, 11:53 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

This is getting creepy..........
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post #124 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-05-2017, 12:14 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

It was just a dream. That was the first time I've dreamt of her. I am sorry - I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I had put a lot of thought and hopes in this - unknowingly myself.

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post #125 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 09:30 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

Dude...

Go download tinder, ask a girl to coffee and forget this one ever existed.

I've been where you are.. it doesnt help even posting about it. You have to move on, today. You'll only get hurt again. She isn't worth that.

Seriously, a nice guy on tinder, you have the world available. I'm living proof of that. Pm if you need tips on how to succeed there.
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post #126 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 10:48 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Dude...

Go download tinder, ask a girl to coffee and forget this one ever existed.

I've been where you are.. it doesnt help even posting about it. You have to move on, today. You'll only get hurt again. She isn't worth that.

Seriously, a nice guy on tinder, you have the world available. I'm living proof of that. Pm if you need tips on how to succeed there.
Tinder isnt the place to find a good person who wants a long term relationship.
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post #127 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 10:54 AM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Tinder isnt the place to find a good person who wants a long term relationship.
I will respectfully disagree and here's why:

From a ladies perspective, it's a sausage fest just looking to get laid. Guys are on Tinder for one reason right? (As you clearly stated above...)

From a guys perspective, a high quality stand-up guy stands out like the Empire State Building in Oklahoma City... And most of the real ladies flock to them.

So, if a guy is a gentleman, and not looking to just get into somebodies panties (As our friend here clearly isn't) then, Tinder could be a goldmine for him.

I used Tinder when I was single to go on 30 plus coffee dates. It was a great app to connect with.
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post #128 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

Well - it isn't about a dating app or anything --- I was talking to this girl for a year - and only recently thought to myself - I should send her flowers and I took action. Yes there are ways of finding a girl - what kind of person would I be - if I send flowers to a girl - open my feelings to her - and then just because its no can do - get on a tinder app to find a substitute. This is a girl that has issues with cheaters. Sure she is not watching me and I have no obligations - but there is a sense of high morals. I respect this girl more for creating boundaries and remaining loyal to her guy.

But this girl has some very specific credentials that I found out to myself I really value in a partner - there is a high value in my affections towards her. I've not invoked a discussion over it since Friday. I know she doesn't reciprocate my feelings - and how could she when she has a guy - and I am sure my reveal was a bit of an unexpected shock.

She still has the flowers on her desk.

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post #129 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 02:11 PM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Well - it isn't about a dating app or anything --- I was talking to this girl for a year - and only recently thought to myself - I should send her flowers and I took action. Yes there are ways of finding a girl - what kind of person would I be - if I send flowers to a girl - open my feelings to her - and then just because its no can do - get on a tinder app to find a substitute. This is a girl that has issues with cheaters. Sure she is not watching me and I have no obligations - but there is a sense of high morals. I respect this girl more for creating boundaries and remaining loyal to her guy.

But this girl has some very specific credentials that I found out to myself I really value in a partner - there is a high value in my affections towards her. I've not invoked a discussion over it since Friday. I know she doesn't reciprocate my feelings - and how could she when she has a guy - and I am sure my reveal was a bit of an unexpected shock.

She still has the flowers on her desk.
Are you by any chance still in IC?

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Your marriage reminds me of a guy dragging a dead whale across the beach.
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post #130 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 02:22 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Are you by any chance still in IC?
IC - instant communication?

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post #131 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 03:26 PM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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IC - instant communication?
Individual counseling.

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Your marriage reminds me of a guy dragging a dead whale across the beach.
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post #132 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 04:08 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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Individual counseling.
No. I saw one when I had deep depression/anxiety from my separation.

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post #133 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 04:52 PM
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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No. I saw one when I had deep depression/anxiety from my separation.
I'm not saying this to be insulting, but I think you should see one and show him this thread.

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Your marriage reminds me of a guy dragging a dead whale across the beach.
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post #134 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 05:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

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I'm not saying this to be insulting, but I think you should see one and show him this thread.
Professional counselling is not cheap and its something that requires a dedicated schedule with a minimum of 6-10 sessions or so.

Of course the option is there - but I haven't considered it, given its not affected my life (been able to work, sleep, eat...) - unlike what my separation did to me. I was very depressed, but never suicidal.

Counsellors would listen to this stuff from the "horses mouth" so to speak they would dismiss reading printouts of forum boards like this. They will focus purely on your feelings and towards the end of the session ask you to scale your mood, depression, suicidal tendency etc.. the session would be more on your feelings - and assess what is important, why this is important to you. Likely the later sessions would focus more on various issues that steam back to your past.

I would debate it with a counsellor - like why this girl is important to me - and maybe would come to an assessment I admire strong alpha female character traits.
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post #135 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 05:13 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Flowers sent to an Italian girl

I mean will all due respect - I had made plans to take this girl out yesterday. So I am not really going to go on a rebound now with Tinder if you get what I am saying or book myself in for expensive private counselling just because things didn't work out. I've got self-respect and self control - I've not bothered her since. I have my own life to lead. I've said my piece to her and was honest with actual context.
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