Flowers sent to an Italian girl
Some of you may know, that I was once married to a traditional Chinese woman. The marriage was dissolved in Nov 2015. I've not tried to get anyone since.
I was pining over my ex-wife for a long time (Oct 2016-Jan 2017) trying to remain loyal to my vows. So I wasn't focusing on anyone else in particular.
Around February 2016 - an Italian girl messaged me on linkedin - and as we are both freelancers in the same industry we spoke for awhile on that day at work. Talking about the issues we experienced with freelancing. I was a bit taken back as she was very modeleque and down to earth, and we did keep a conversation going for a few hours. I added her to my facebook on the same day and kept in touch.
Throughout the year we have spoken every other week - about work, feelings towards it, previous relationships, relationship expectations and interests. I find out she has a similar educational background to me and one of her interests click very specifically with one of mine.
Before Valentines day - I found myself ordering flowers for the Italian girl, to be sent to her new place of work (on Valentines day). It was a spontaneous act. I sent the flowers anonymously. The day came and I find out she is ill - she didn't return to work until near the end of the week - and was extremely happy to receive the flowers, but they were dying by that time. I had a 2nd batch - a different type - sent to her the following week so she could appreciate fresh flowers properly. She really liked them! I revealed to her in-between the first and second batch that I had sent her the flowers and she thanked me for them.
I am a shy guy - and normally I would think a woman like this way out of my league. I became interested though more because of our conversations and industry link. Its almost like there are two sides to her - this very beautiful modeleque high class rich life (she is well-off but possibly not rich) side to her - and this more down to earth vulnerable person. I feel there is a difference in life-style - and maybe I am not her type - as she may go for blonde, taller guys - whilst I am dark haired, stockier/muscular built.
Last friday I thought I should try and ask her out. Now - we have never met in person. I had tried to meet her for a coffee a couple of times before I invoked any change in our friendship - but she was always busy or had arrived home by the time I considered the invite.
Maybe my first attempt was weak - I suggested we eat at an artisan pancakes restaurant - for pancakes day. I did say we could go before or after pancakes day. She replied "that's nice, but I don't think I am here for pancakes day".
I found her reply ambiguous - and an inclination that she is not interested.
I thought I would give it a day before replying back, and replied back - "sounds exciting what you have going on". I didn't want to sound needy or disappointed trying to give alternative dates/times. I felt best to diffuse any pressure - and tried to generally chat a little as normal. Found and sent a little video - of a guy who had made prepared a tiny lasagna with miniature cooking utensils (like a model house) - she found it funny.
I feel like my feelings have got stronger for her - and I am trying to just keep a level head . I have friends giving me mixed advice - and at the moment I am just trying to back off and assess the situation. She is 28. I just turned 34 - I am wondering if she could step up to the plate and review how she could be in being a partner. I do like this girl - and I feel I could offer her a missing romantic aspect to her life - I feel like maybe I've come on too strong and should make it clear about starting out as a more platonic friendship. I think she would be fun to be around - take her out to places and such.
Either way this is a big step for me - trying to invoke a potential relationship - after my previous situation.