First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 114 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 02:21 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

I can't really add anything to what has already been posted. Relax, and just enjoy yourself. Absolutely no pressure. It's a first date for heaven's sake. If it's meant to be it will happen. No need to read more into it than just meeting somebody new for good conversation, maybe more if it goes well.

The first time I talked to my wife of 20+ years was on the phone. We talked for three and a half hours long distance. The conversation felt like we had known each other all of our lives. We were definitely on the same page in everything we talked about. I was pretty nervous about meeting her in person, how the first date would go, etc., but I came to the conclusion that if it was meant to be we would click the same way we did on the phone. We didn't even know what each other looked like except for our self-descriptions.

Just don't sweat it! Everything will be okay regardless of how the date turns out.

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post #17 of 114 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 05:57 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Good luck. I hope she is nice and things go well and that she is not one of those serial daters that is only looking for a free meal.


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post #18 of 114 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 06:50 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Just set a low key meetup,a drink or some coffee, have low expectations and just see what happens. You will likely have a lot of these before you meet someone you'll click with. You are wise to not wait long to meet, the sooner the better.

Just don't spend a lot or expect a lot and have fun. Dating is suppose to be fun
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post #19 of 114 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 06:53 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

You're overthinking this way too much OP. It's just a date. You don't even know her...until you meet someone in person you don't know them at all.

Just relax, enjoy yourself and have a good time
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post #20 of 114 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 07:03 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Yep it's just a date, you may meet her and not find her sexually attractive, or she may be a bore in person.

Who knows what will happen? If you both mutually like each other and want more you can both go there. If one or both of you aren't feeling it, you can both move on with best of luck to all etc.

The earlier you can meet for a date, the better off you both are. If there's nothing you can determine that early, rather than wasting time to no end. If there's something, you can get on with spending that time to an end.
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post #21 of 114 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 07:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

I know. I guess I am little surprised how well the call went. You'd be surprised. When I was dating in my 20's, and even my ex-wife, some of the calls were like pulling teeth. This was surprisingly very easy flowing and relaxing. I get it not to put the cart before the horse though. I won some gift cards from a promo on the radio. The meet won't cost me anything aside from fuel.

Another problem I have is I have four other girls who forwarded me their number and asked me to call them. One even specifically said to call, not text. I think that's where I made my mistake on the first one. I texted instead of called. Reason being, she said to text, so I did what she asked. We are strangers... Still, I do have the most interest in this one.
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post #22 of 114 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 12:06 AM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Low expectations........ do NOT expect anything but politeness on both sides.

You already have this image of her in your mind and 99.9% of the time when you do this,

you will be let down. Reason you should not do this. This is what teenagers do.

That's why they're so much in love after three weeks. STOP IT!

Do not even entertain the thought of a 2nd date. You will talk yourself into looking past

possible red flags. Be yourself, do NOT attempt to impress. You don't even know if there is

chemistry yet. One step at a time.....

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #23 of 114 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:20 PM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

I wholeheartedly agree. I know I seem a bit over anxious in my posts, I was just relaying that I was surprised how fluid the call was and how happy and positive her messages were. I am not giving my hopes up, but it was a lot different vibe than I've received from other women in the past. That is all. It's a rush of emotions that I've not felt before in years. I guess I am still getting used to everything again. Doing this over near 40, not what I was originally expecting.
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post #24 of 114 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 04:42 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Quote:
Originally Posted by Almost-Done View Post
I wholeheartedly agree. I know I seem a bit over anxious in my posts, I was just relaying that I was surprised how fluid the call was and how happy and positive her messages were. I am not giving my hopes up, but it was a lot different vibe than I've received from other women in the past. That is all. It's a rush of emotions that I've not felt before in years. I guess I am still getting used to everything again. Doing this over near 40, not what I was originally expecting.
I can understand that...I personally hate dating...I'm a relationship person not a dating person lol.

Just keep it in perspective, don't overthink it and go with the flow. You'll be just fine
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post #25 of 114 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 04:51 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Originally Posted by Almost-Done View Post
I wholeheartedly agree. I know I seem a bit over anxious in my posts, I was just relaying that I was surprised how fluid the call was and how happy and positive her messages were. I am not giving my hopes up, but it was a lot different vibe than I've received from other women in the past. That is all. It's a rush of emotions that I've not felt before in years. I guess I am still getting used to everything again. Doing this over near 40, not what I was originally expecting.
Just remember, if she has ever said that she likes to see a man in uniform, she does NOT mean a Star Trek uniform. I learned that the hard way.

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post #26 of 114 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 05:20 PM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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I can understand that...I personally hate dating...I'm a relationship person not a dating person lol.

Just keep it in perspective, don't overthink it and go with the flow. You'll be just fine
Either am I. I have five women who want to "talk" because messaging is too impersonal. A bit overwhelmed as I do not want to lead any on until I know if one is going to enter in to a second date or not. How do people handle multiple people at once? How long does one wait until calling? I was always told not to be too eager, it makes you look desperate. I think I screwed the first one up by texting instead of calling. So, I am learning. Never do that again. Kinda hard to have fun while it's stressful at times figuring whom to call and setup. Ironically, the ones that I wrote off weeks ago are the first ones who gave me their number to call. Strange.
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post #27 of 114 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 05:21 PM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Just remember, if she has ever said that she likes to see a man in uniform, she does NOT mean a Star Trek uniform. I learned that the hard way.
Duly noted. Hehe.
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post #28 of 114 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 09:18 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Originally Posted by Steve1000 View Post
Just remember, if she has ever said that she likes to see a man in uniform, she does NOT mean a Star Trek uniform. I learned that the hard way.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #29 of 114 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 12:32 AM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

How do you handle multiple women? Just like you handled the one. You are not wise to go along putting all your eggs in one basket at a time. Dating multiple women at once gives one the incredible gift of seeing each one without new rose colored glasses.

Warning: There are a TON of people that sound like wonderful people over the phone, like angels texting. Rarely do they show up as you envisioned in person..

Go into this date with the idea That you are still looking, and you may consider going on a date with another one of your interests just as likely as this one. That way you can make a decision out of logic instead of necessity.
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post #30 of 114 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 12:55 AM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Either am I. I have five women who want to "talk" because messaging is too impersonal. A bit overwhelmed as I do not want to lead any on until I know if one is going to enter in to a second date or not. How do people handle multiple people at once? How long does one wait until calling? I was always told not to be too eager, it makes you look desperate. I think I screwed the first one up by texting instead of calling. So, I am learning. Never do that again. Kinda hard to have fun while it's stressful at times figuring whom to call and setup. Ironically, the ones that I wrote off weeks ago are the first ones who gave me their number to call. Strange.
It's a bit of a minefield out there, lol. It's different strokes for different folks - some women will be fine with texting but others (like me) prefer a phone call. The key is to listen and pick up those things by listening

There is nothing wrong with going on dates with more than one woman, as long as you don't string them all along for 5 or 6 dates - and don't sleep with them, that's not fair. Then again, that's just my perspective...another woman may post in a moment that she'd be fine with sex on the first date, lol.

The thing to remember is that the whole point of dating is to have fun and find a lady who's values align with yours...she may be the first or second woman you meet, she may be the 20th, but you wont know until you try.

Just go with the flow...unless she is physically repulsive to you (BO or dirty teeth lol), or behaves in a way you can't abide (rude to the wait staff for example) give her a second date...we're all nervous on a first date...we've all sounded like bumbling idiots who talk way too much at some point or another

Last edited by frusdil; 03-02-2017 at 12:59 AM. Reason: Typo
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