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post #31 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 02:04 AM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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It's a bit of a minefield out there, lol. It's different strokes for different folks - some women will be fine with texting but others (like me) prefer a phone call. The key is to listen and pick up those things by listening

There is nothing wrong with going on dates with more than one woman, as long as you don't string them all along for 5 or 6 dates - and don't sleep with them, that's not fair. Then again, that's just my perspective...another woman may post in a moment that she'd be fine with sex on the first date, lol.

The thing to remember is that the whole point of dating is to have fun and find a lady who's values align with yours...she may be the first or second woman you meet, she may be the 20th, but you wont know until you try.

Just go with the flow...unless she is physically repulsive to you (BO or dirty teeth lol), or behaves in a way you can't abide (rude to the wait staff for example) give her a second date...we're all nervous on a first date...we've all sounded like bumbling idiots who talk way too much at some point or another
I completely agree on the text vs. phone call. I will turn 45 this year but.... I always prefer the phone.

You can cover in phone in 5 minutes what takes an hour in continuous text. The first girl I text / FB messaged

with in late 2014 would ALWAYS get things misconstrued. It got to the point, I refused to text

with her. We lived 7 miles apart, I'd rather talk at your porch or mine, in person.

Endless texting / messaging for over a week and no plans to met if you are less than

100 miles apart, is a HUGE red flag.


A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #32 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 09:35 AM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

So, the results of the date. She was early, which was a plus. Looked exactly as her pics, a plus. And there was instant chemistry (I think). She arrived at 7, I was there a couple minutes later. Laughing and talking for about five hours until closing time at the place we were at. At the end of the night, ironically, our cars were right next to each other, and we had two long kisses. I said we should do something again, and she agreed.

I was surprised how well it went. I was thinking of meeting up with her again during the week and then, if that goes well, inviting her to my place for next weekend so I may cook us dinner and watch some movies.
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post #33 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 09:53 AM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Good......Now don't go ga ga crazy over this and think your search is over......Date other people but keep it to yourself......
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post #34 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 09:58 AM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Good......Now don't go ga ga crazy over this and think your search is over......Date other people but keep it to yourself......
Agreed. I am working on setting up dates with others. However, I'd be lying if I didn't say I have good amount of interest in this one.
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post #35 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 12:53 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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So, the results of the date. She was early, which was a plus. Looked exactly as her pics, a plus. And there was instant chemistry (I think). She arrived at 7, I was there a couple minutes later. Laughing and talking for about five hours until closing time at the place we were at. At the end of the night, ironically, our cars were right next to each other, and we had two long kisses. I said we should do something again, and she agreed.

I was surprised how well it went. I was thinking of meeting up with her again during the week and then, if that goes well, inviting her to my place for next weekend so I may cook us dinner and watch some movies.
Whoa, ease up there, hoppy! Jumping the gun here a bit! If she agrees to another date, set it up for the weekend... to go OUT, not your place, not yet. You will shoot yourself in the foot being over-eager.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

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post #36 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 02:21 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Whoa, ease up there, hoppy! Jumping the gun here a bit! If she agrees to another date, set it up for the weekend... to go OUT, not your place, not yet. You will shoot yourself in the foot being over-eager.
True dat! One step at a time. See how the next date goes and then set a third date. Continue on neutral territory until you see the signs. Your place or her place will still be there regardless of where you start off.

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post #37 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 02:36 PM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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True dat! One step at a time. See how the next date goes and then set a third date. Continue on neutral territory until you see the signs. Your place or her place will still be there regardless of where you start off.
There in lies a small issue. She's 33 and lives with her parents. She has a twin sister who just moved out because she got married. She lives in the high rent district so she feels it's better to save money than to waste on rent. However, during the date, she did seem interested in cooking with me and movie nights at my place. Normally, a woman living with her parents, I would decline, however, we really hit it off really well.
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post #38 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 02:37 PM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Whoa, ease up there, hoppy! Jumping the gun here a bit! If she agrees to another date, set it up for the weekend... to go OUT, not your place, not yet. You will shoot yourself in the foot being over-eager.
I believe you are right. Need to chill myself a bit.
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post #39 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 03:05 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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There in lies a small issue. She's 33 and lives with her parents. She has a twin sister who just moved out because she got married. She lives in the high rent district so she feels it's better to save money than to waste on rent. However, during the date, she did seem interested in cooking with me and movie nights at my place. Normally, a woman living with her parents, I would decline, however, we really hit it off really well.
No problem, your place will always be there no matter where you start out. I dated a 55 y/o woman who was living with her dad. Her dad was older and she was taking care of him. It wasn't that big of an issue. (there were other issues, but that isn't what this post is about). Still take it one step at a time. If the second date goes well, then discuss the third date. Just take it one day at a time and don't get ahead of yourself

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post #40 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 03:25 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Nothing wrong with living with parents--- but there is if she's not responsible enough to handle life on her own. Job?
I will give you some advice---/
You're highly vulnerable right now. If you see a red flag, don't ignore it. Dating a woman and getting attached to her and breaking up because she has big problems will put you back to square one emotionally

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post #41 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 03:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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No problem, your place will always be there no matter where you start out. I dated a 55 y/o woman who was living with her dad. Her dad was older and she was taking care of him. It wasn't that big of an issue. (there were other issues, but that isn't what this post is about). Still take it one step at a time. If the second date goes well, then discuss the third date. Just take it one day at a time and don't get ahead of yourself
Her Mom had breast cancer last year and the parents are in their 70s, so she wants to be there for them. I can respect that. It a set back, but she seems to have a good head on her shoulders.
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post #42 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 03:37 PM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Nothing wrong with living with parents--- but there is if she's not responsible enough to handle life on her own. Job?
I will give you some advice---/
You're highly vulnerable right now. If you see a red flag, don't ignore it. Dating a woman and getting attached to her and breaking up because she has big problems will put you back to square one emotionally
Agreed. However, she has tenure as a teacher which she's been for 10 years. She also volunteers to help children once or twice a week. She even stated (without me asking) that she's been saving money, has a fully funded pension and 403b. She said she's saving for a home one day. We will see I guess.
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post #43 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 04:25 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Sounds like a good possibility. Better stay cool. Relationships should be 50/50.

Don't go overboard.
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post #44 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 07:58 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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So, the results of the date. She was early, which was a plus. Looked exactly as her pics, a plus. And there was instant chemistry (I think). She arrived at 7, I was there a couple minutes later. Laughing and talking for about five hours until closing time at the place we were at. At the end of the night, ironically, our cars were right next to each other, and we had two long kisses. I said we should do something again, and she agreed.

I was surprised how well it went. I was thinking of meeting up with her again during the week and then, if that goes well, inviting her to my place for next weekend so I may cook us dinner and watch some movies.
That's great news Glad it went well!!

If you like her, call her within a day or so (no longer) and organise a firm plan for the next date. If that one goes well, before you leave set up the next one...my husband did that when we were dating - always firmed up the next date...I LOVED it!!! He always called when he said he would, and if he was running late he'd text me to let me know and that he'd call at X time instead if that was ok with me...He valued my time as well as his own. Big brownie points

Continue to plan other dates until you know if you want to continue to see this woman...they don't have to be fancy - just a coffee date will be fine. Just continue to keep your options open for now. You'll know after two or three dates with this woman whether you want to be exclusive with her...continuing to date others after three or so dates with this one would not be fair.
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post #45 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 08:58 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Nothing wrong with living with parents--- but there is if she's not responsible enough to handle life on her own. Job?
I will give you some advice---/
You're highly vulnerable right now. If you see a red flag, don't ignore it. Dating a woman and getting attached to her and breaking up because she has big problems will put you back to square one emotionally
Has she EVER lived alone or with roommate? Or lived with a guy before?

Granted.... if she has a four year degree she was in the first group of students whom I call

"wallpaper degree holders." Got a degree, can't do a damn thing with it, have $60,000

in student loans. HITF... can they move out.... SL's, rent, car, food, lights, water, etc.

$60k @ 60 months... like a damn mortgage payment by itself. So... it's not as big a deal being 33

and living at home. You don't have a choice. Wasn't that way 20-30 years ago.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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