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post #61 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 07:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

So here's the update. We're on for Saturday. However, I offered to pick her up, but she said she didn't want me to drive both ways and would rather meet me there. Then she said, it's up to you, you're welcome to come by though. A bit confused about that, so I said, sure, if you rather meet me there, that's cool. However, she said it was a great idea and is looking forward to Saturday.

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post #62 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 07:25 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Don't read into it. She was probably just trying to be nice

----
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post #63 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 08:10 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Picking her up at her place would make her feel as if her parents should meet you.

Unneeded stress..... you are ?43? and she is 33. At that age, if parents play a role in your

early dating, that is a BAD sign. Parental intro's at your ages, shouldn't be until

a couple months in.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #64 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 08:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck71 View Post
Picking her up at her place would make her feel as if her parents should meet you.

Unneeded stress..... you are ?43? and she is 33. At that age, if parents play a role in your

early dating, that is a BAD sign. Parental intro's at your ages, shouldn't be until

a couple months in.
39, but feels like 43 sometimes. I'll take it as it comes. Let's see how the second date goes and take it from there.
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post #65 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 08:26 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Almost-done--- you don't seem to get it. YOU are the hot commodity now. You should have always thought yourself a catch.
You're investing too many emotions too early. I strongly suggest you enjoy your dates, but see a few other ladies for a while, too.
What you are doing is putting yourself in a situation where you'll get attached too easy and start ignoring red flags. I've done it.
Don't get so interested in a woman that you're crushed if they ghost you. It happens.

Go reeeeaaally slow right now. You are needing some physical affection badly, most likely.

Just be cautious. She is not the only woman that will like you and enjoy you. Trust me.
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post #66 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 08:48 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Originally Posted by Evinrude58 View Post
Almost-done--- you don't seem to get it. YOU are the hot commodity now. You should have always thought yourself a catch.
You're investing too many emotions too early. I strongly suggest you enjoy your dates, but see a few other ladies for a while, too.
What you are doing is putting yourself in a situation where you'll get attached too easy and start ignoring red flags. I've done it.
Don't get so interested in a woman that you're crushed if they ghost you. It happens.

Go reeeeaaally slow right now. You are needing some physical affection badly, most likely.

Just be cautious. She is not the only woman that will like you and enjoy you. Trust me.
E58 speaks from experience........ If he takes the advice he gives to others, E will be A-ok.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #67 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 08:58 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Definitely speaking from experience. I see a lot of myself in the OP.
I found a woman that on paper was the 🐳 of all fish. For 16 months I thought she was an angel from heaven.
Only later did I find out she was hard to deal with. Like nearly impossible. I had fallen for her badly after just a little while, and honestly--- still am crazy about her. Still wish I could figure out a way for us to both be happy.

But had I been more cautious, I could have saved the both of us a lot of pain.
Emotions are a double edged sword.

Tread carefully, friend. A broken heart after a broken heart is hard to deal with.
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post #68 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 11:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

I understand. It's hard for me to juggle more than one at a time. I have a few numbers, just it's a lot to handle. I do not see red flags yet. I am sure there will be. There always seems to be. The living at home issue could be an issue if she doesn't want to come to my home once an a while. I am planning on calling one of the other women tomorrow and setup a date as well. I just feel it is wrong to do..
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post #69 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 11:07 PM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Originally Posted by Almost-Done View Post
I understand. It's hard for me to juggle more than one at a time. I have a few numbers, just it's a lot to handle. I do not see red flags yet. I am sure there will be. There always seems to be. The living at home issue could be an issue if she doesn't want to come to my home once an a while. I am planning on calling one of the other women tomorrow and setup a date as well. I just feel it is wrong to do..
Stop it. You sample the field. You maybe missing out on the right one for you.

It's your time. Do not settle for just what's in front of you.
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post #70 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 05:41 AM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Just giving perspective as a woman, and as one also living with her family while dating...

I did not let any dates pick me up from my house unless I knew them really well. I'd drive myself to the venue/restaurant.

I was responsible for protecting my family. When you're dating, you don't know someone. I dated some men who turned out to have some very troubled attitudes. No way would I be advertising where I, my mom, and my younger siblings live.


"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

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post #71 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 06:30 AM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Just remember, if she has ever said that she likes foxes and wolves, she does NOT mean come to the date dressed as a furry. I learned that the hard way.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.
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post #72 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 06:50 AM
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Do the "dinner at home" date after sex has happened... I think that is more comfortable, no pressure to make a PERFECT meal.

If you can, drink wine. I didn't start drinking until my mid 30s. It loosened me up - took the edge off. Less shyness. I do like drinking alcohol - in moderation. I have been DRUNK in almost a year, but I had a bottle last night to enjoy the drink.

Look at fun venues to take your date too, dance, music, fun things, etc. The other thing that is fun, is if you can do 2-3 venues in one night by walking. And remember rule #1 - HAVE FUN!
I've had my car break down after I parked my car with a first date. I walked her in to order food, I checked out the car are realized it wasn't GOING anywhere that night and then I locked my keys in the car.
I sat down and we ate. I called a friend to pick us up (pre-uber days) and we got HER car, went back to where the date was supposed to be... Laugh off the drama. Had fun. I got my car running the next day with a part that couldn't have been installed at night or bought.

When we started (R) with my wife... we walked the downtown club/bar party area. No drinking - and went to 10 places, 5 of them were driven... and had a blast.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.
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post #73 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 11:07 AM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc878 View Post
Stop it. You sample the field. You maybe missing out on the right one for you.

It's your time. Do not settle for just what's in front of you.
Not settling. Did that with my previous marriage. I do not repeat mistakes.
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post #74 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 11:12 AM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Do the "dinner at home" date after sex has happened... I think that is more comfortable, no pressure to make a PERFECT meal.
Kinda hard since she lives with her parents.
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post #75 of 111 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 11:13 AM Thread Starter
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Re: First date set. Second guessimg myself a bit

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Originally Posted by Satya View Post
Just giving perspective as a woman, and as one also living with her family while dating...

I did not let any dates pick me up from my house unless I knew them really well. I'd drive myself to the venue/restaurant.

I was responsible for protecting my family. When you're dating, you don't know someone. I dated some men who turned out to have some very troubled attitudes. No way would I be advertising where I, my mom, and my younger siblings live.
I understand and I can respect that.
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