Re: How long do you give counseling?
I can relate to your situation. My wife walked out on me 7 weeks ago today. Prior to that she had shocked me with news she wanted to Divorce, 9 months before. We worked on it for months, tried a MC who was not very good, then tried some other things.
It was obvious she was hardly trying through this whole process. As the typical guy, I tried everything to fix it, but her heart was not in it. We are currently doing MC and IC both. She is still in the blame game mode, but I am hoping our MC can get her to look inside herself and see she needs to change if this will ever work. I am determined to change, now she needs to also change or we will fail.
She blames me for her unhappiness and have become the justification for her walking away, but I think deep down we both know it is something she is struggling about internally with aging. Having read up on MLC, she hits every point. What I have learned is that "Patience" is a must, which could take months or years. In the mean time I will continue to improve myself for her if she re-engages in a once very good marriage, or for my next lover.
We never had children which a makes seperation and divorce much easier, which is a good thing and a bad thing all at the same time.
The bottom line is I did love her very much up until D day, but since this seperation, I can see my love for her is starting to fade.
If you want to save it be patient and be the best you can be.
BTW: I disagree with any counsellor who calims 60 days is all that is needed to decide the future. I didn't know crystal balls work.
Last edited by This is me; 12-23-2011 at 02:06 PM.