Emotional/sexting affair - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 04:55 PM
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Re: Emotional/sexting affair

A lot of liars are pretty good at lying.

Anyway, whatever.

How's his job search going?


Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #32 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 04:59 PM
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Re: Emotional/sexting affair

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I need to lose weight. My husband has told me so as well. I am exhausted. And breastfeeding. But it is no excuse. I know I need to be responsible for me. Others consider me to be attractive still. I am approached by men regularly.

My husband set up counseling. Called his family and mine to admit to what he did. He wants to stay together.

I feel so disgusted. I also don't want my children to have a broken home. How do I know that no physical contact occurred? How do I know he won't do this again? The second woman reports that she is moving departments or her husband will leave her. But my husband is still the first woman's boss. I am so angry not just about our relationship but that he was so reckless with our financial future. Quitting work is not an option.


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I am so sorry you're going through this. And you absolutely do have an excuse for feeling exhausted and not your best- you have a baby and you're nursing (breastfeeding?) and working full-time. My heart goes out to you.

Have you heard of the book Surviving an Affair by Dr. Harley? While I'm not into everything Marriage Builders says, I do think Dr. Harley's steps for handling an affair (which is what your husband is doing) help couples going through this. I'd get my hands on the book (or even google the website and read the online articles for how to handle an affair) and get started.

You'll have to expose what your husband is doing to family and possibly close friends and his workplace. This will likely bust up the affairs because affairs thrive on secrecy, and get you the support you need right now in getting your husband to stop his atrocious behavior.

I'd also consider calling them. You can get free counseling from them on what your next steps should be. The only way to save your marriage is to call your husband out, get family to help, and have your husband want to work this out with you hat in hand. He will need to do some serious work to repair the damage he's caused you.
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post #33 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 05:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Emotional/sexting affair

He actually called both families and told them himself. So there is no secrecy there. I have talked to one woman's husband (he called me). He is definitely not minimizing the affairs thankfully. I just feel like there is no way for him to know the depth of my pain. Thanks for the book recommendations. I am open to read anything


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post #34 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 09:08 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Emotional/sexting affair

So even though I do feel I have the entire truth I am now super anxious. I feel like I am on the verge of an anxiety attack all the time. Is this normal?


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post #35 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 10:04 AM
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Re: Emotional/sexting affair

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So even though I do feel I have the entire truth I am now super anxious. I feel like I am on the verge of an anxiety attack all the time. Is this normal?
You don't feel settled because you aren't convinced he's been truthful with you.

Lie detector tests are not reliable.

He very well could be cheating, you know this, at least subconciously, and that is why you're experiencing high anxiety.
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