Originally Posted by manfromlamancha View Post
We shall see. Don't know about text book ignorance - can only go by what i have seen. You are just about turning legal to drink in the USA. And you quote text book ignorance to me. As for terminology call it what you will. Lesbos is still a lovely island in the Greek islands. Gay is a fantastic word meaning happiness. Bisexual is the only really descriptive word as would hetero and homo sexual be. If a man prefers men to women he is a homosexual. Same for a woman who prefers women. If a man only sleeps with women then he is heterosexual. Same for a woman who only sleeps with men. Now here is where the statistics come in. If a woman is capable of sleeping and enjoying a healthy relationship long term with both women and men then she is truly bisexual. Haven't seen too many cases of that - they either go back to being hetero or stay homo - however there are some success stories there. When it comes to a man in that scenario - I haven't seen ANY success stories. Hence the warning which you can choose to ignore in your youthful certainty that you are right.
I have. I have seen cases on both sides. One, I dated many years ago, and he is now in a monogamous relationship with a man. Another is a man who had been with other men and he is in a monogamous marriage (over 20 years) to a woman. Now, that isn't to say this will definitely happen with OP, but just to point out that it DOES happen.
Ok, OP, first, your question is whether he should cone clean to your family. The only question about this should be WHY should he even HAVE to? YOU know his history, YOU have accepted it. YOU have weighed the risks vs benefits and have made the decision yourself. If your family voices concerns, more power to him. But as long as you are walking into this with your eyes open, that is all that matters. Do you intend to inform them of your every orgasm? This is in the same category. Your sex life is yours. They don't need to know it. And his sex life is his. Again, no need to tell the world.
Honestly, the only thing that should be an issue is that he was involved with someone who was married. I know he was 16-18, and I know he believed they were in love. But, the guy was still married, and from everything you have said, he knew the guy was married. I'm not saying he could never be in a monogamous relationship, but the fact that he was in a relationship with a married person would be enough to raise a flag for me. I would be extra cautious because of THAT aspect, not because that person hapoened to be a man.
I wish you the best of luck, and strongly advise NOT telling your family, as it is none of their business. If they learn elsewhere and bring it to you, then sure, tell them you knew and it is between you and hom, and no one else.
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