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post #91 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 06:14 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

No ml did not say that he said bisexuality with a straight preference is heterosexuality. And that's not true IMO.

You did by saying you agree with ML.

I said those who are bisexual with a straight preference benefit from bisexuality spectrums not existing. Which is why I said you yourself may be of this type of people. Its just me speculating as that's how your first post came off. You agreed with ml who stated bisexuality was only a 50/50 attraction to men and women everything esle was gay or straight. That makes heterosexuality and homosexuality absorb spectrums of bisexuality those with straight and gay preferences respectively.

Quote:
Originally Posted by phillybeffandswiss View Post
Which is what ML stated.

See, this is called stereotyping and leads into bigotry. This quote is my first post on your thread. I have made no declarations about sexuality except to say you rewrote ML's post. I am not at risk for being labeled because I do not care about your sexuality or what anyone thinks about mine.

Can't respond because this makes little sense.

He said much more, but you are still stereotyping.


I looked up many of your words and numbers, they are quite interesting. To me, you are the one with the biggest issues on sexuality. The more I dig, the more your information comes form slang based and fringe based websites. If the issue bothers you this much, that you start passive aggressively insulting posters, you might want to rethink your relationship. You asked for advice, didn't like what you heard and have resorted to angry insults and trying to prove everyone who disagrees is a bigot or ignorant.

Just so you understand, there is a difference between educating people when they might be wrong and trying to be right.
Biromantic is not slang nor is homoflexible. Those are real terms that describe the different types of bisexuality there is. Ams talk about sexual orientation and romantic orientation. There are two forms everyone has it by the way. I think you're the only one who's mad because I said you could be bisexual. But honestly if I did not say it I'd have thought it. I think when people try to make bisexuality just 50-50 attraction to men and women. I think they don't want to be bisexual so they call people with a preference to the opposite straight so they can like the same sex occasionally and still be straight. That's just how I see it. If you agree with ml in that a preference for the same or opposite sex makes you automatically gay or straight. That's what I think of you. I'm not trying to insult you. I'm just saying that's what it looks like to me.

And as far as my own sexuality I'm pretty unique. I'm not your average straight woman and I embrace it.

Also I'm not stereotyping that is just an empty word you're throwing at me because it sounds good lol.

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post #92 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 06:23 PM
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

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No hes not out to them anymore than he was when they assumed he was straight. You keep trying to claim bi is gay so obviously you don't understand.


Coming out as bi is different than being gay. But it doesn't seem you see the obvious different I obviously do.
Look, I'm not going to play some game of finding the perfect word with you. I could care less if your husband is bi, gay, straight, or whatever other words games you want to play with this.

You keep wanting to fight over which words to use. And by doing so you miss the point.

Your fiancé is already out to your parents. They know. You both have been lying to your parents. So tell them the truth. But do it with as few words as possible because they are most likely not going to care about the many different words you are using on this thread to describe light differences in sexual orientation.

"The rumors that he had an affair with an older marriage man are true. He was 16 and used by an older man. Fiancé thinks that he might be bisexual but is committed to be monogamous to our heterosexual relationship. We don't need to talk about this any further."

There, end of story.
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post #93 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 06:25 PM
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

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Originally Posted by Maj1996 View Post
No ml did not say that he said bisexuality with a straight preference is heterosexuality. And that's not true IMO.

You did by saying you agree with ML.
I never said I agreed with you or ML. So, you might want to go back and read my post again. I said you both were saying the same thing.



Quote:
Biromantic is not slang nor is homoflexible. Those are real terms that describe the different types of bisexuality there is.
They are slang. They may become legit later, but right now they are not in normal use. It is why people are laughing. I have yet to laugh at any of your words, I am laughing at your irrational anger.
Quote:
I think you're the only one who's mad because I said you could be bisexual. But honestly if I did not say it I'd have thought it. I think when people try to make bisexuality just 50-50 attraction to men and women. I think they don't want to be bisexual so they call people with a preference to the opposite straight so they can like the same sex occasionally and still be straight. That's just how I see it. If you agree with ml in that a preference for the same or opposite sex makes you automatically gay or straight. That's what I think of you. I'm not trying to insult you. I'm just saying that's what it looks like to me.



And as far as my own sexuality I'm pretty unique. I'm not your average straight woman and I embrace it.
I already answered this, but you are still angry and not reading what I have written.


Quote:
Also I'm not stereotyping that is just an empty word you're throwing at me because it sounds good lol.
Sure you are, you've alleged a few people must be "bisexual" because they disagree or give counters to your assertions about sexuality.

Again, what has you so up in arms if you love the guy? Are you the one scared of his sexuality? If you accept it why does he need to come out to your parents?
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post #94 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 07:41 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

Quote:
Originally Posted by phillybeffandswiss View Post
I never said I agreed with you or ML. So, you might want to go back and read my post again. I said you both were saying the same thing.



They are slang. They may become legit later, but right now they are not in normal use. It is why people are laughing. I have yet to laugh at any of your words, I am laughing at your irrational anger.
I already answered this, but you are still angry and not reading what I have written.


Sure you are, you've alleged a few people must be "bisexual" because they disagree or give counters to your assertions about sexuality.

Again, what has you so up in arms if you love the guy? Are you the one scared of his sexuality? If you accept it why does he need to come out to your parents?
Well if you think a preference is the same as as being g monosexual then that's what I think of you. You seem to be the only one who is upset too bad. That wasn't my intention I was just telling you my genuine thoughts of what you said move on and don't read if its making you this flustered lol.

I'm not angry but I think you wish I was upset because you're clearly upset at my opinion of you. If it stands no ground what I said it shouldn't really offend. You know you you know your truth lol.

The ignorant do tend to laugh

Like I said evidence has come forward to my family. About the affair so now they think hes cheating he's gay and not faithful. I just wanted to know the best wag to fix the situation.



Quote:
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Look, I'm not going to play some game of finding the perfect word with you. I could care less if your husband is bi, gay, straight, or whatever other words games you want to play with this.

You keep wanting to fight over which words to use. And by doing so you miss the point.

Your fiancé is already out to your parents. They know. You both have been lying to your parents. So tell them the truth. But do it with as few words as possible because they are most likely not going to care about the many different words you are using on this thread to describe light differences in sexual orientation.

"The rumors that he had an affair with an older marriage man are true. He was 16 and used by an older man. Fiancé thinks that he might be bisexual but is committed to be monogamous to our heterosexual relationship. We don't need to talk about this any further."

There, end of story.
But hes not out. They think hes gay and currently cheating etc.... That's a major difference from reality.

Yeah I think I agree with going about it like you said tweaking a few things of course.
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post #95 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 07:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

Quote:
Originally Posted by phillybeffandswiss View Post
I never said I agreed with you or ML. So, you might want to go back and read my post again. I said you both were saying the same thing.



They are slang. They may become legit later, but right now they are not in normal use. It is why people are laughing. I have yet to laugh at any of your words, I am laughing at your irrational anger.
I already answered this, but you are still angry and not reading what I have written.


Sure you are, you've alleged a few people must be "bisexual" because they disagree or give counters to your assertions about sexuality.

Again, what has you so up in arms if you love the guy? Are you the one scared of his sexuality? If you accept it why does he need to come out to your parents?
BTW I'll give you something to start with.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heteroflexibility

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romantic_orientation

http://wiki.asexuality.org/Biromantic

Last edited by Maj1996; 03-04-2017 at 08:23 PM.
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post #96 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 09:24 PM
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

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LOL... to be 20 again.

I'd love to read your updates at age 30.


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Originally Posted by GusPolinski View Post
LOL...

"Homoflexible".

Millennials are just adorable.


Aren't they just? So cute!
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post #97 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 10:24 PM
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

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Originally Posted by frusdil View Post






Aren't they just? So cute!
Cute but SOOOOO terribly confused.
I am thankful that I grew up in a time where these crazy words and phrases weren't thought of. I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I read this stuff.
I am also SOOOO grateful that I am a woman attracted to a man, married to a man who is attracted to a woman.
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post #98 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 11:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

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Aren't they just? So cute!
Funny thing is millennials are people in their 30's actually nowadays... So you're probably more of o than myself. Miolenials are a sad bunch IMO but they were raised by the babyboomers so what can you expect?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Cute but SOOOOO terribly confused.
I am thankful that I grew up in a time where these crazy words and phrases weren't thought of. I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I read this stuff.
I am also SOOOO grateful that I am a woman attracted to a man, married to a man who is attracted to a woman.
Me too I agree
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post #99 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 11:15 PM
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

For the record, my wife is more attracted to women than she is to men. And yet, we have an active and fulfilling sex life and have been together for nearly a decade.

The fact that OP's husband is more attracted to men than women does not mean that their marriage is doomed to fail.

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post #100 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 11:36 PM
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

OK now that I have some terms for some of the stages in the spectrum from homo to hetero, then your fiancé should not come out as bisexual to your family as that would be confusing. He should come out as a biromantic homoflexible (just to make it less confusing) cheating male who helped to break up a family and slept with another biromantic homoflexible who is married and has children (just as your fiancé is about to be - married with children). At the same time he should own up to and apologise for his bad behaviour and not hide behind the fact that he was only 16 or 18 when it suits him (and apparently you too) yet is grown up enough to be in a serious relationship when it suits him.

And yes I must commend the way you have stood up to us all with unregulated wiki quotes and placing blame on the previous generations (my, oh how original) - my kids went through this although they are now in their mid 20s and are starting to take responsibility for what they need to do going forward (as I am sure you will as a mature responsible parent).

The bottom line is that your fiancé did something bad, your parents found out and suddenly you think that by coming out as bisexual or whatever, that is going to explain why he slept with a married father ? Think about this carefully and try and work out the basic morality that needs to apply. Stop blaming others for his bad behaviour - he needs to own it and apologise and then work on improving himself.


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post #101 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-05-2017, 03:07 AM
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

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OK now that I have some terms for some of the stages in the spectrum from homo to hetero, then your fiancé should not come out as bisexual to your family as that would be confusing. He should come out as a biromantic homoflexible (just to make it less confusing) cheating male who helped to break up a family and slept with another biromantic homoflexible who is married and has children (just as your fiancé is about to be - married with children). At the same time he should own up to and apologise for his bad behaviour and not hide behind the fact that he was only 16 or 18 when it suits him (and apparently you too) yet is grown up enough to be in a serious relationship when it suits him.

And yes I must commend the way you have stood up to us all with unregulated wiki quotes and placing blame on the previous generations (my, oh how original) - my kids went through this although they are now in their mid 20s and are starting to take responsibility for what they need to do going forward (as I am sure you will as a mature responsible parent).

The bottom line is that your fiancé did something bad, your parents found out and suddenly you think that by coming out as bisexual or whatever, that is going to explain why he slept with a married father ? Think about this carefully and try and work out the basic morality that needs to apply. Stop blaming others for his bad behaviour - he needs to own it and apologise and then work on improving himself.
My thoughts exactly.
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post #102 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-05-2017, 04:23 AM
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

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Funny thing is millennials are people in their 30's actually nowadays... So you're probably more of o than myself. Miolenials are a sad bunch IMO but they were raised by the babyboomers so what can you expect?
Darling I don't know where you get your facts from, but millenials (aka Generation Y) were not raised by baby boomers, that was the Generation X's - like me. I'm old enough to be your mum.
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post #103 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-05-2017, 06:09 AM
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

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Darling I don't know where you get your facts from, but millenials (aka Generation Y) were not raised by baby boomers, that was the Generation X's - like me. I'm old enough to be your mum.
You must be an early generation X. I'm a late baby boomer. I'm sorry I screwed you up. You are a mess, you know?

Hell, I don't even know you. How in hell could I mess you up?

Also, my parents were raised during and before the Great Depression of 1929. They really messed me up.

The only thing that messed up anyone is a bunch of young kids who think they know it all. It was okay before we gave them the power to make changes. Now, everything is screwed up.

By the way, I was young once and thought I knew everything, and then I actually learned everything.

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post #104 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-05-2017, 06:23 AM
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

Since younger is better, more experienced, smarter, and more knowledgeable, why don't you go to a forum for grade school aged children when you have a problem? By your logic, they should have all the answers.

Think about it. Oh, sorry, my parents might have told me that at one time. Never mind........

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post #105 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-05-2017, 07:52 AM
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Re: Should my fiance come out as bisexual to my family? Or? What?

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Darling I don't know where you get your facts from, but millenials (aka Generation Y) were not raised by baby boomers, that was the Generation X's - like me. I'm old enough to be your mum.
Good grief they need to stop changing terminology. My sister, who once was a Generation X, is now classified as Millennial (Gen Y). My other sister, who was classified as Gen Y is now termed a Millennial, as is my husband. No wonder we can't keep the generations straight. They keep changing them on us. Oh, and all of us were raised by boomers, who were our parents, not our grandparents. So, on that point, Maj was sort of correct in saying they were raised by baby boomers. But, looming at one page, my nephew is a Millennial raised by a Millennial. Who is his biological mother, who was married when she had him. Seriously. They need to stop regrouping the generations.

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Last edited by Maricha75; 03-05-2017 at 08:11 AM.
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