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post #16 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 11:39 AM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Oh come on. I doubt there's a single husband out there who hasn't thought of his wife with a previous boyfriend and felt helpless because of it.
What planet do you live on??

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post #17 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 11:42 AM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Oh come on. I doubt there's a single husband out there who hasn't thought of his wife with a previous boyfriend and felt helpless because of it.
Helpless? No, more like thankful, I feel I'm reaping the benefits of her promiscuity.



Sigh, my wife gives me the speaking treatment.
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post #18 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 11:55 AM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

LaBron James is a PHENOMENAL basketball player. But for most he'll never be better than Jordan.

Ive had plenty of trouble with insecurities myself CD. Likely due to a mother who instilled the above thought process in me. Realize how stupid thinking like this is though. If you go down the road of ranking and comparisons to validate yourself, you'll eventually lose. Unless you are the greatest of all time.

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post #19 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 11:56 AM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Oh come on. I doubt there's a single husband out there who hasn't thought of his wife with a previous boyfriend and felt helpless because of it.
Unless your W is specifically saying she wished you were like her ex's (which would then beg the question of why she is even with you), who gives a poop?

Aside from finding out how many people someone slept with or if something happened in a SOs past that could impact us, I have no interest in any details of their past, nor do I have much of an interest in sharing mine. I don't see anything to get out sharing such information unless both people agree to (even then, I think it could end up being questionable)
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post #20 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 12:00 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

Canada,

You've got trust issues. I used to be like you in my first marriage. (Of course, she cheated on me so it was justified) but I started to obsess over it.

You have 2 choices:

1) Divorce and start over

2) Get a clean slate and start over together.

If you don't do either of those two, you'll eventually do #1. It's trust, pure and simple. Stop worrying about "your needs" and start focusing on hers. Who the hell cares who had the biggest penis? It accomplishes nothing... unless you were in a completely trusting relationship then it's great for laughs and fun. But you aren't, so just don't go there.
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post #21 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 12:02 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

Guys are more preoccupied with penis size than women are. Not one of the 20 women I had sex with was willing to or mentioned previous lovers. That is an unspoken law. In this day and age it is surprising how many men still think that penis size equates to better sex or orgasms. It does not unless your sexual education is only porn. Once, one of my wife's friends mentioned a guy she had sex with that had a large penis. She said all he did was pound her with it, thinking that is all he had to do and she was sore the next few days. She even found that his penis bumping against her cervix was distracting. If you read true stories about guys with big penises, you will find that it presents problems for them. Some women will not let them have intercourse with them. Some girls feel pain. Life is not like porn.

Do men go around looking for women with tight vaginas because they are better at sex? Despite what many men say about big boobs, are only large chested girls capable of giving great orgasms? It is all BS. I am about your size and I have pleased many women who came back for more, including a few who never had an orgasm by intercourse before. A woman's vagina is only about 5-6" before you enter the cervix area which does not have as many nerve ending as their vagina. You can look at it two ways. Either your think you are too small or think that she is too stretched out. Why do men chose to believe that they are the problem?

The most recent study showed that when women were asked to select a 3D printed penis, they selected about 5-6". Previous studies were simply asking women if they prefered big or average sized penises. You would get the same results if you asked guys if they rather have a girl with small or large boobs. It has nothing to do with real life or sexual pleasure. A great orgasm is a great orgasm, no matter how it is achieved. I love oral sex. I give women their first orgasm orally. Then do intercourses and if they do not orgasm again before I do, I will perform oral on them again, even though my semen is still inside them. I study sex and learn all that I can about it. I have had sex with models and they all had good orgasms and wanted more. No one cares but you about penis size as long as you make them orgasm.

There are size queens out there who only like large penises but that is more of a visual turn on than physical, much like having sex with a woman with large breasts. My wife had no sex with anyone before me so she has no past. I have a long past but my wife does not want to hear about it. I cannot imagine a wife talking about an ex with a large penis since she should know that men are sensitive about their penis size. If you cannot please your wife as much as another man, it is not because of your penis size. I give my wife orgams in under 3 minutes, and multiple ones too. That is how it has been with most of my sexual partners with the exception of my ex fiancee who is now married to a woman so no mystery there. Stop worrying because your lack of confidence will translate to poor sexual performance.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.
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post #22 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 12:04 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Isn't it normal for a man to want to compare himself to other men? Kind of a male pissing contest? I would have thought that was common.
I make comparison to no man. Not sure why you ask these questions of your W. My W dated before we met. I dated before as well. We understood there was physical activity for us both before we met each other. That is in the past now and remains so. You should consider doing the same.

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post #23 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 12:17 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Oh come on. I doubt there's a single husband out there who hasn't thought of his wife with a previous boyfriend and felt helpless because of it.
Why on earth would I want to think about how much pipe might have been laid in my wife?

I accept that she was not a virgin and moved on. She tried a couple of times early on to tell me how many guys she had been with over the years, but why do I need that information? I am secure enough in who I am that that information is just not important.

Enjoy your wife for who she is and appreciate that she is married to you. She is with you and not them, right? However, keep up your behavior and she might go back to them....
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post #24 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 12:37 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

Not really.
Like most men I have a reasonable idea of the size of my own penis. A quick web search
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_...ength_only.svg
Lets me know the statistics. So I know, if I cared, where I am in that chart. I can guess how many partners my wife had before me and work out the odds she had someone larger. Not 0, not 100%.

In terms of skill, I'm convinced I'm the best because I very much care about pleasing her and I think that matters far more than any physical characteristic.


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Isn't it normal for a man to want to compare himself to other men? Kind of a male pissing contest? I would have thought that was common.
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post #25 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 12:40 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

You're just shooting yourself in the foot by asking your wife these questions. My husband and I have talked about past partners but only in general terms; nothing specific. Nothing good can come out of it.

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post #26 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 12:42 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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You're just shooting yourself in the foot .
Much easier to do if you have a large one
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post #27 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 01:13 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

CD, the truth is that ALL men do wonder about this - to varying degrees (strong or not). Men have been comparing penises since time began. And in more recent times, they have also been wondering about previous partners. However

it is the smart ones who know how to deal with it. Not so much confidence or strength of character, but more to do with brains.

The smart ones know that they are not likely to have the largest penis ever and the more partners their wife has had the higher the odds that she has come across a larger penis or two.

And even if the guy didn't know what to do with it at the very least it would have felt good (unless he was King Kong and she is tiny) - don't listen to all the stuff about size doesn't matter. It does feel better to honest women. But it is not necessarily the best.

So the smart ones, learn to enjoy what they have rather than try and worry about being the biggest or whatever. They know that while they have their girlfriend or wife all to themselves, they have the best opportunity to prove to her that they in fact are the best and that is not by having the biggest penis but by having plenty of time alone with her to find out what really floats her bucket (and that is 90% brain power and 10% physical attributes).

Retroactive jealousy is a common condition. Not something for anyone to direct vitriol or incredulity at. Many men (and women) suffer from this. And you are tackling it which is admirable. However start applying brain power and it will go away!

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post #28 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 01:18 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Originally Posted by CanadaDry View Post
Isn't it normal for a man to want to compare himself to other men? Kind of a male pissing contest? I would have thought that was common.
Nope.

It's a sign of insecurity.

Get a grip dude.
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post #29 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 01:33 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

OK, so here's the truth if your wife was not a virgin when you met:

She's had a bigger penis than yours.

She's had a smaller penis than yours.


Your question is symptomatic of something other than what you think you are pursuing. Do you have a good marriage? Do you trust she isn't and hasn't cheated on you? Do you have a generally good sex life? Does she bring up her previous boyfriends in a way which indicates she misses them? Does she say negative things about your abilities in bed? Do you think she's lied about her past sufficiently to have railroaded you into staying with her?

One possibility is you are concerned because there are issues in the marriage and you think you are somehow the cause. Another is you fear she has chosen you as a Nice Guy Stable Provider for her, not because she loves you or desires you sexually. Another is you have a dysfunctionally low self esteem.

What I will grant you is you have the right to need the information you need about your wife's past. And she is providing what seem like solid honest answers right now. There are competing theories on how much info you should get about your partner's past. I am in the camp that you should have an honest picture so that you can judge if you are compatible. Not that you need every detail, but you should know enough to have that honest understanding.

But you are going even beyond that with your questioning. It is as if you are looking for her to reassure you that you are the best, biggest, best looking, richest, most desirable man she's ever known. You're in an unhealthy place.

Here's one more truth: You cannot compete with the combination of best attributes of all of her previous boyfriends. One had a big penis. One maybe had a lot of money. One maybe was very athletic. Another had a great car. Whatever, you can't compete with the selected best attributes. Along with the big penis the guy may have had a really ugly personality. The athletic guy may have had a micro-penis and no money. So stop comparing yourself to these other men. If your marriage is good and you believe your wife is being a good faithful spouse, you don't need to dig into all these details of her past relationships.
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post #30 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 01:37 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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OK, so here's the truth if your wife was not a virgin when you met:

She's had a bigger penis than yours.

She's had a smaller penis than yours.
If his wife once had a penis, regardless of it's size, there are bigger problems here.
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