This should probably be a taboo subject - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 01:52 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

Penis size does matter to some women. To the rest it usually doesn't.

The only time it might matter is if the guy has an inordinately small one, like two or three inches.

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post #32 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 01:56 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Oh come on. I doubt there's a single husband out there who hasn't thought of his wife with a previous boyfriend and felt helpless because of it.
I have been with plenty of women in my life and was married to one of them for twenty years. Never once did I wonder how my unit compared to others she had had, never once did I ask about it. Sure there were some general comments over the years about past sexual experiences, but just general pillow talk type stuff. Also I will say that no woman I have ever been with asked if her vagina was as tight as others. (thank goodness!) (no wait, I mean they were ALL tight to me because I am so big!!)

Seriously CanadaDry, you need to learn to self monitor. Drunks don't drink more to cure themselves, and they usually don't go work at a bar, smokers don't smoke more, drug addicts don't do more drugs, sex addicts don't find more sex. When you have a problem, like your retroactive jealousy, you learn your limits and you learn to not put yourself in bad situations. It's like picking at a scab, it just takes longer to heal. For some reason you're not learning this, it's like you look for ways to bring hurt or conflict into your life. Maybe you do it as a self destruct philosophy, that way you always have a good foundation of excuses laid for when your life blows up.

Last edited by Cooper; 03-06-2017 at 02:31 PM.
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post #33 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 01:57 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Originally Posted by bandit.45 View Post
Penis size does matter to some women. To the rest it usually doesn't.

The only time it might matter is if the guy has an inordinately small one, like two or three inches.
Is that length or diameter?
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post #34 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 02:02 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Somehow the wife and I got onto the subject of her past boyfriends. Remember I am retroactively jealous and trying my best to get over this condition. And I'm thinking the more exposure I have to my wife's past the more desensitized I will become to it. So far it's working, we've talked about her previous relationships before and it used to bother me, but not so much now because I'm realizing I can trust her.

So for some reason I had to take it up a notch yesterday. I dunno why I did, but I did. I asked about who of the guys she ever dated had the biggest penis. We've discussed this in the past but I asked it again yesterday. She told me again it was a biker dude that she briefly dated way before I came along. She said the guy ought to be a porn Star. In the past she told me it was too uncomfortable because it was so big, but yesterday when I had mentioned that she had only had sex w him a couple of times because it was uncomfortable she admitted that it was more than twice and it actually felt good. She only told me it was uncomfortable in the past because I was too sensitive and took the discussion the wrong way. So yesterday I didn't show any emotion, it was just a matter of fact discussion. But I have to admit to still being very jealous and a bit hurt that she told me a lie in the past, even if it was to protect my feelings. I'm no slouch in the penis dept, I'm about 6.5 inches with a sizable girth. But I find myself feeling jealous of this other guy. I asked for specifics on her sexual experience with this guy but she refused to go any further and said she was afraid I would just use it against her in the future.

So ladies, is this a subject you've discussed with your husbands? If not, would you discuss it with your husband? Guys, have you ever had this discussion with your wife? If so, and you weren't the biggest, did it make you feel jealous?
I've had many conversations with Mrs. Conan about past sex partners but not because of RJ.

Some of our talks were to help her work through her emotions about things she wasn't proud of.

Other talks were for fun because I am very sexually confident and I think sex is both fun and humorous.

I have asked her about experiences she liked and why she liked them so I could maybe improve as her lover.

Just for data. Her first husband was hung like a horse. He was not a competent lover or a considerate husband or even a very smart guy.

She didn't enjoy sex that much with him. She liked it best with considerate lovers who took their time and worked her passion up with soft caresses.

I am easily her best lover if for no other reason than I made myself a student of her body and female sexuality.

Mrs. Conan can, and has, accommodated a very large penis. Much bigger than me. When I get her really aroused and hot, I can tell her kitty can take quite a bit more than I am pushing. Not length wise, I'm actually close to 8 in length and that can bother her cervix before she is really worked up but she could seriously handle more girth. I'm no slouch in that department either, 5.5, but she has never had a vaginal O anyway though she has come closest with me and it is my goal to eventually push her over that edge.

You simply need confidence partner. Sex is and is not serious.

If your wife feels safe and comfortable with you there is nothing she wont share with you and that will open up intimate pleasure centers in her mind.

You will also be able to bring her to higher heights during sex.

You have to look at her actions and trust her. Emotions are poor reasons for making decisions.

Your RJ should not be a basis for any action or decision about your wife.

Her actions should be your guide to trusting her with your intimacy and heart.

I actually get a laugh about some of our sexual history.

I love my wife and she is my friend so I wish she had been treated better by Mr. Huge penis and had a better sexual experience than she did.

Mrs. Conan chose me above all others easy.

Didn't your wife do the same with you?

I sincerely hope you can connect with your wife on this level.

She needs to feel safe with you brother.

Peace.

Last edited by ConanHub; 03-06-2017 at 02:12 PM.
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post #35 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 02:03 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

Aside from maybe how many partner's your wife has had, you are not entitled to any information about past sexual experiences she had before you and frankly I think no good will come out of you asking and her telling. Somethings are best left unsaid.

Why does it matter how big her last partners were, or if they were good in bed or not. All that matters is if she is happy with the sex life you guys are having. I have to agree with uthred. If you don't stop this direction you are heading in you are going to ruin your marriage. Anything that happened in her past relationships needs to stay in the past.

Dragging the past up is going to ruin your present. Let it go.
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post #36 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 02:10 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Not vitriol. More like incredulity. It blows my mind what you are putting yourself through. And you just keep doing it over and over and over and over................................. it's hard to watch.
I face my demons until I have them beaten and on my leash.

It is a form of therapy that works for some people.

I am someone this works for but OP needs to make sure he is indeed subduing his demon while facing it and not the reverse.

Sometimes facing pain is the best way to overcome it.
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post #37 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 02:46 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

The first guy I was ever with was enormous, and you'd never expected it because he was a little skinny guy.

He didn't know what to do to with it.

My hb is probably average but knows what to do with it.

No comparison.....that dude was a fraction of the man my hb is.

Do you require the biggest breasts out there? Is bigger better?

You'll be much better off if you man up and make sure you know how to please your wife with what you have.

The insecurity is unattractive.
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post #38 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 02:47 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

When I was 17, I asked my GF this. It was not productive and I didn't like what I heard in her response. I have never asked again. I expect women I am with to know what they want and need in a partner. If they are with me, I expect I am what they want.

Did your wife marry the large penis biker dude or did she marry you? That's your answer.

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post #39 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 02:51 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

The time to ask these questions was before you married. All you're doing now is harassing your wife. Knock it off before she pulls the plug.

@Vinnydee,
"Not one of the 20 women I had sex with"... Only 20? I'm gobsmacked, I tell ya. Gobsmacked.
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post #40 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 04:33 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Isn't it normal for a man to want to compare himself to other men? Kind of a male pissing contest? I would have thought that was common.
You already won that contest. She married you. Why do you want to repeat it?

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Helpless? No, more like thankful, I feel I'm reaping the benefits of her promiscuity.
Exactly!

You are putting your wife in a very awkward position. She wants to be honest but she knows you are insecure and her honesty would hurt you. Get a handle on your insecurity or you are going to teach her how to be dishonest with you, and that's not good for marriage.

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post #41 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 05:08 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Sometimes facing pain is the best way to overcome it.
I agree, but you have to know where it is helpful and when it becomes pain shopping. The OP needs a guide because he is doing it all wrong.
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post #42 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 06:24 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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I agree, but you have to know where it is helpful and when it becomes pain shopping. The OP needs a guide because he is doing it all wrong.
Haven't read all his posts.

Hope he beats it. Screws everything up.
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post #43 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 08:00 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

Its really not true. Women can buy dildos in sizes from small to "you've got to be kidding" in sex shops / online. The most popular models tend to be roughly normal human sized. That's because for most women roughly normal sized feels best.
'
Sure there are size queens who want enormous penesis, and some who prefer very small, but for most, normal seems about right.

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Originally Posted by manfromlamancha View Post
snip
- don't listen to all the stuff about size doesn't matter. It does feel better to honest women. But it is not necessarily the best.

snip!
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post #44 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 09:21 PM
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Cool Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Isn't it normal for a man to want to compare himself to other men? Kind of a male pissing contest? I would have thought that was common.
Hell, no! I don't want to know one damned thing about them!

Out of sight ~ out of mind!

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My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #45 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 09:25 PM
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Re: This should probably be a taboo subject

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Get a grip dude.
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Originally Posted by browser View Post
there are bigger problems here.
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