I want to divorce my wife but i don't know how to approach it...or should I? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 10:37 AM Thread Starter
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I want to divorce my wife but i don't know how to approach it...or should I?

I've been with my wife for 9 years & married for 4. She is 13 years older than me and i am in my early 30's. I've haven't been happy for the past 1-1 1/2 years. She suffers from fibromyalgia and has been for as long as we been married. I feel like i can't leave her in these hard times and i must be supportive to her needs. I put her needs in front of mine but some needs aren't being met and i know the reason why. The reason is her health. I'm having different views of life now and sad to say she isn't able to accomplish those needs that I'm in search for. I've never been the one to break a heart and for the 1st heart to break be her heart destroys all that I am in search for in life. We have no children but i know that this will be a huge punch in the gut. What do i do?

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 11:08 AM
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Re: I want to divorce my wife but i don't know how to approach it...or should I?

So, what is the reason why you have determined her health is in your way of happiness?


Time committed to helping her?

Life goals that you haven't shared here yet?
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 12:27 AM
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Re: I want to divorce my wife but i don't know how to approach it...or should I?

You're breaking up with your wife because she's ill?

I have no words.

Fortunately, other people, far more equipped than I, do have words for you.

5 Lessons I've Learned As the Partner of Someone with an Invisible Disability - Everyday Feminism

I would suggest you give this a thorough read-through or two or three, and then think long and hard about what kind of man would leave his sick wife. If you must ask for a divorce, at the very least, be prepared to pay alimony for the rest of her life. Offer to do so, even. See if you can find a way to continue providing her health insurance. Try to find her a place to live. Don't you dare make this her financial ruin as well as her emotional ruin, because the fallout from this will be more severe than you can even attempt to imagine. The heartbreak she will face will exacerbate her conditions and probably send her into a flare, and if she can't afford proper rest and medical treatment for them, she may well die.

I understand you can't help whom you love, but you are still morally obligated to provide for her financially, since she is ill and most probably cannot provide for herself. I can understand wanting to leave a loveless marriage, but before you can do so with a clear conscience, you must ensure your wife will be able to survive the divorce. To do anything less is, frankly, monstrous.

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Last edited by EllaSuaveterre; 03-12-2017 at 12:35 AM.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 04:53 AM
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Cool Re: I want to divorce my wife but i don't know how to approach it...or should I?

First off, I hope that you refrain from doing it!

In any event, please share your sentiments with either a Senior Church Pastor or a good Christian-based Individual Counselor(IC). Perhaps they could sit down with you to help you see what it is that you're wanting to do from yet another perspective other than your own seemingly selfish one!

Illness, unfortunately, is an inherent part of the life cycle!

Let's try putting the shoe over on the other foot ~ exactly how would you feel if you suddenly became extremely ill and the person that you trusted the most in life, simply decided to turn their back on you because their "needs" weren't necessarily being met? What would your family and mutual friends say? What would your general and church community say?

Please tell me where "the love" is in all of that!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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Last edited by arbitrator; 03-12-2017 at 05:00 AM. Reason: Edification
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