Compersion. Best describes my marriage - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 12:51 PM Thread Starter
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Location: Southern USA, but longtime NYC boy prior to our move.
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Compersion. Best describes my marriage

compersion (uncountable)

1. The feeling of joy one has experiencing another's joy, such as in witnessing a toddler's joy and feeling joy in response.
2. The feeling of joy associated with seeing a loved one love another; contrasted with jealousy.

I finally found an article that best describes my marriage. I have gotten some feedback on my marriage of 44 years. Some find it unbelievable while others think it is immoral. The problem is that we are all brought up to believe in one way to live a marriage and follow that way even though the odds are 50/50 that it will fail. If interested please read this article. As it says, our marriage was open at times and monogamous at others. Ethical monogamy is a term that I like the most. We did not go looking for dates on the weekends, but we did not shut the door for either of us obtaining pleasure from someone else. We cannot be all things to another person and I do take pleasure in my wife's pleasure and she does the same with me.

I am not pushing my lifestyle on anyone, but I just want to get the message out that there are other ways to have a long, loving and lasting marriage than what most prefer now, serial monogamy. Read this and make up your own mind. As is says in my signature block, many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality. Our marriage lasted and we still love each other like when we first met. The marriages of all of our friends and siblings did not last very long and yet they thought they were morally superior, even though they left their spouse in bad financial shape and hardly visited their kids.

Compersion: A Polyamorous Principle That Can Strengthen Any Relationship | The Huffington Post

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.

Last edited by Vinnydee; 03-06-2017 at 11:12 PM.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 04:15 PM
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
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Re: Compersion. Best describes my marriage

I cant think of much worse than living the way you do to be honest.
It makes me so grateful for the marriage I have and the husband I have. A faithful, moral man of integrity who I respect highly. I just couldn't have any respect for a man who cant even be faithful to me and who thinks nothing of having sex with others.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 04:43 PM
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Location: alberta
Posts: 252
Re: Compersion. Best describes my marriage

While it is not a lifestyle that I am active in now or in the past, it is one that I can understand.

If there is one thing that I have come to understand, it is the fact that monogamy is contradictory to natures design. We have physical characteristics that are a result of evolutionary modifications that prove this and before anybody slams me for saying that do a little research on sperm competition and then tell me I'm wrong.

Marriage and monogamy were inventions of the church as a method of social control at a time when the average life expectancy was less than half of what it is now. I don't think it is fluke that as life span increases so do divorce rates, I don't believe from a nature standpoint we were meant to be pair bonded and monogamous for 60 or 70 years, it really isn't natural and it is the opposite of what is ingrained into our DNA.

I'm not saying everybody would throw monogamy out the window and start screwing your neighbors like a pack of rabbits, only that condemnation for people that chose to live a more liberal lifestyle is unfounded persecution.

For those of you that are strong enough to fight natures urges and follow your perception of the moral high ground, all the power to you, that is your choice as is the choice to not be monogamous. The only issue I ever have with it is when somebody puts a person into a non monogamous relationship without first giving them the choice to be in that relationship or not. That is where the real ethical short coming is at, that is the moral failure, not consenting adults being engaged in adult activities.

Our lives are a novel and we, the authors. if you don't like the story line, only you have the power to change it.
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