Re: Sitting on the fence, 11 years, No Chemistry!
I have to say, man that's crappy.
I'm afraid I haven't read all the responses but I would imagine that a few of them have a pretty sharp edge. I hope I'm not piling on the crap.
It's unfortunate that we can't make ourselves dislike the things that are bad for us and love the things that we should love, life doesn't work like that. If it did I would hate chocolate cake and love my waist line, but alas its not that simple.
There are so many women out there that love the bad boys. They represent danger, excitement, thrills and the good guys represent boredom, routine and safety, eventually (with a little luck and a few bad experiences) they learn from the many hurts they endure and come to appreciate the men that aren't that way. I want to make sure I point something out here, you'll notice I said "bad boys" and "men". and that's because that's what they are. Boys that are immature selfish and destructive versus Men that do what's right and do right by their family's and their loved ones because that is what a man is.
I'm not sure why it is that you never grew out of that phase and keep in mind I don't condemn you for it, but what ever it is, it is the same self destructive path that you will end up going down again if you allow yourself. I feel sorry for both you and your husband. It's unfortunate for you being in a position of knowing what is right and you simply can't find yourself the strength to want it. Its unfortunate for your husband to be in the situation of having placed faith and love into a person that simply cant reciprocate it. Most importantly it is unfortunate for the two kids that you've brought into the world.
Even if you are able to endure continuing on in your relationship for now eventually it will be at your own destruction as you will gradually hate your life until you spiral into a depression that you can't cope with. The time to have had this epiphany was before you had kids because you have made them the casualties of this.
Nobody should be forced into staying simply because it's the right thing for everybody but you but at the same token is it fair to make everybody else pay the price because you couldn't be honest with yourself from the start. Nobody should be forced to live a life where they are deprived of feeling the euphoria of loving somebody and the joy that brings into your life.
I'm so, so sorry for all of you. I don't envy you as there will be no winners on this one.
Our lives are a novel and we, the authors. if you don't like the story line, only you have the power to change it.
Last edited by bankshot1993; 03-07-2017 at 04:33 PM.