, you say with honesty that you don't love your husband.
I'd say that the answer in that case is really simple - just let him go.
He deserves to be free to be with a woman that truly loves him for who he is.
You deserve to find and be with a man you truly love and desire.
It sounds like you came together when you needed to heal from some issues. You were a work in progress.
Unfortunately, when you healed, the thing that drew you to him in the first place (security) was no longer a need for you, because you improved your life and your prospects.
So, again, I would say to just let him go. Work out the most amicable solution for divorce and division of assets, and custody of/time with the children.
Some people recommend marriage counseling, which I would normally concur with, but you just don't have love in your heart for him, and that would already make MC a fruitless endeavour.
Unless your husband is really oblivious, he's probably fully aware that you don't want to connect with him intimately.