Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

User Tag List

 22Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 10:00 AM
Member
 
tropicalbeachiwish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: La La Land
Posts: 1,753
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

I'd like clarification on her current association with the university. Unless she's in an advanced education, she should be done with college. That's why I was thinking she may just work for the university.


"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
tropicalbeachiwish is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #17 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 03:38 PM Thread Starter
zio
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Nazareth, Israel
Posts: 14
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

.

Last edited by zio; 03-12-2017 at 09:22 AM.
zio is offline  
post #18 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 03:48 PM Thread Starter
zio
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Nazareth, Israel
Posts: 14
.

Last edited by zio; 03-12-2017 at 09:21 AM.
zio is offline  
 
post #19 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 05:43 PM
Forum Supporter
 
blueinbr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 6,328
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

Quote:
Originally Posted by zio View Post
I told my fiance of this past. But I did not tell him to this day he keeps contacting me.


That's not good. Tell him to tonight
blueinbr is offline  
post #20 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 05:46 PM
Forum Supporter
 
blueinbr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 6,328
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thor View Post
Getting a police report now may be helpful in the future. Like if the guy moves to your country or visits your country. If you are in the EU there may be EU laws which cross borders. If he is violating laws where he lives, it may be possible to get some kind of restraining order against him there.



Zio, you've told your fiance about your past with this guy, so you have nothing really to lose if he does release whatever information he has. I think you are overly fearful of him. He has even said he won't make those things public.



You have every right to be free of him. You have no obligation to be nice to him, to talk to him, to respond to him, or for him to be able to know how to contact you. I am not sure you really understand those things. Do you?



I think you should explore what your legal rights are. Your university may have some kind of legal office where you could talk to a lawyer for free. I think the university has an obligation to help you since he is harassing you on your university email.



It may be possible to reverse the pressures to make him stop. Have you saved copies of the emails or other contacts he's made with you? His parents, his fiance, even his religious leaders may be contacted by you. Ask them to ask him to leave you alone. Your relationship with him was a long time ago. You could even include a copy of one of his messages to you in your contact with those people. This would show them he is being unreasonable and that you have asked him to leave you alone. It would also let him know that you have more potentially embarrassing things which you could send to those people.


Good idea. The university should have a policy in place in which IT admin can block his email address from reaching the university mail system. That would allow you to keep the same address.

Or you can change the name and get a new address.
blueinbr is offline  
post #21 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 06:31 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 1,456
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

Quote:
Originally Posted by zio View Post
I apologized but still waiting his reply.
You are giving him all the power here and allowing him to run all over you.

Time to dig your heels in and make a stand.

Stop apologizing for doing the right thing, and waiting around for him to "do something". What's the worst he can do, post a few nude pictures that he might not even have of you when you were younger? Like I think I said somewhere tell him if he does you'll have him arrested and charged for privacy invasion or whatever law it is he will break by doing it and then block him completely and live your life.
browser is offline  
post #22 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 06:40 PM Thread Starter
zio
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Nazareth, Israel
Posts: 14
.

Last edited by zio; 03-12-2017 at 09:21 AM.
zio is offline  
post #23 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 06:41 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 1,456
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

I just told you what to do.
browser is offline  
post #24 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 07:39 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 160
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

Quote:
Originally Posted by zio View Post
Im scared of his blackmail what am I supposed to do. His last email to me translated are: I am at work now, we will talk once I finish. To see how your mind let you do such a stupid act. Take care, I am being patient with you, if it was some other person he would have done a stupid action. We will talk soon, bye. His other emails, 'what did you do you (mental person) you idiot, you don't know what you did, but you brought it on your self. I swear to (Allah) if I knew you spoke to anyone else on my side I will make you regret the past and the future of your life...If I went crazy on you I would make you lose your life'. 'I swear to God if you did a idiotic thing again I will make you walk looking back, because I never hurt you, but because of your stupid mind you hurt me, and you will bring it on yourself like I told you'.

Have your fiancé reply to him and tell him to back off, you will never reply to him. Your fiancé could inform his parents, and his wife's parents if you know who they are, what he is doing to you and how he is hurting his wife. Regardless, STOP answering him.

IamSomebody
IamSomebody is offline  
post #25 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 10:01 AM
Member
 
Thor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 8,772
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

That last email was a direct physical threat. No doubt about it. I think you should pursue legal action against him. Definitely contact the police. You may want to contact a lawyer, which your university may provide to you for free at least for a consult. Even though your ex is in a different country there may be some legal avenues for you.

You should not be doing this alone. You need competent help from professionals, and you need the support of your friends and family. Gather your resources and use them.

Thor is offline  
post #26 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 10:12 AM
Member
 
tropicalbeachiwish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: La La Land
Posts: 1,753
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

Stop engaging him.

"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
tropicalbeachiwish is online now  
post #27 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 10:15 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 5
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

First thing first I understand you are worried but don't be. You have the whole right here, and I think he understands that any move from him is illegal, that's why he threatened but hasn't done anything. A dog that barks is not a dangerous dog!

You should also contact the police. What he is doing is illegal here in the US, unless you are not living in the US. You could actually have contacted the police earlier when he refused to delete photos/videos from you.
newlab is offline  
post #28 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 10:59 AM
Member
 
RideofmyLife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Idaho
Posts: 122
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

The advice given to stop contact is spot on. There's a book called the Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker and he talks about stalking behavior. ANY contact, even negative, can fuel his desire to contact you. Don't answer calls, emails, nothing. Don't have your fiancé tell him to back off, don't call the wife, nothing! Even restraining orders have been known to fuel an increase in contact. (In some cases, they work, though) They think, wow she got a restraining order, she must feel something. and it increases their desire to contact you. They got you to feel something, they've affected you in some way. It's all about the connection. You've taken some good steps, you just need to stop contacting him and stop responding when he contacts you. If you have a personalized message on your voice mail, get rid of it and get an automated one so he can't hear your voice, block him on facebook, etc...
RideofmyLife is offline  
post #29 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 04:23 PM Thread Starter
zio
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Nazareth, Israel
Posts: 14
Re: Ex won't stop contacting me no matter what I do

.

Last edited by zio; 03-12-2017 at 09:21 AM.
zio is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Does it matter anymore.??? Mark71 The Ladies' Lounge 30 06-11-2016 07:39 AM
Does the context/meaning of what you say matter? Amagran General Relationship Discussion 20 04-16-2016 08:46 AM
When will I stop.... Sunnyb Coping with Infidelity 14 12-17-2015 10:02 PM
My father beat us and my mom was too weak to stop him. Mussi The Family & Parenting Forums 30 12-12-2015 02:17 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome