I'll just start from the beginning.
My husband and I were high school sweethearts, we broke up for over 20 years. We each had families with other people, and he found me 20 years later on the internet through a school site. Fast forward, we've been together for 11 years now and married last September.
I am not a nice person, I'll just get that out there now. I was alone with my kids for a LONG time before husband showed up, and I was the only one in charge. Therefore it has been a struggle for me to take on the more "submissive" role of wife. I am bossy, controlling, and expect things done when I say to get it done. That's my nature and that's how I kept 2 sons and myself alive with no child support for almost 15 years.
Well sons are now moved out and adults doing their own thing now. 2 years ago, I started having panic attacks, never had one in my life before. I was very sick in truth I had a full blown nervous breakdown, I've been off work now for 2 years, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.
As bad as it's been for me, it's been just as hard on my husband who doesn't know how to help me.
Well, the problem started 2 years ago before I got sick..For the first ten years, my husband was a company driver as a long haul driver. The absence was never a problem as neither of us are clingy, insecure people. Everything was going along rather smoothly, not perfect, but not awful either. Our bills were always paid, I take care of the finances in our family as he is gone too often. When we started my husband had HORRIBLE credit, badly damaged from previous marriage. He got a proposal, cleaned up the old bills, finished paying his child support for his two children and I worked for 10 years to build up his credit. While ignoring my own..YES, bad decision on my part. Anyway.
So, ten years I build up the credit to the point we've got a new vehicle, saved up for a down payment to buy a house, all bills are paid, got approved for a mortgage....PICKED out a house....
Husband comes home two days later, informs me his company has been taken over by a new company and the boss just offered him a new rig to become an owner operator...AND HE TOOK IT!
Call the bank the next day, guess who doesn't qualify for a mortgage now as new business owners..There goes the house...
And the panic attacks start.
So, here we are two years later...Taxes aren't done, bills are falling behind, payments bouncing through our account....All to keep putting money in this rig. Yes, I'm a little bit enraged.
They say love is blind, it must be...He's the apple of my eye, and yet I can see the financial train wreck I'm taking with him.
LORD almighty it feels good to get this out.