She will just continue to say that what she is doing is normal and blame you.
Man up. Your wife is electronically dating guys in front of you, and rubs it in your face when she is drunk. Eventually she will hook up with one of more of them. We have warned you. What you do next is totally up to you.
And this happens a lot in the 40s. Call it a mid life crisis, or call it cheating. Outcome is the same.
This is the spot on truth. And it happened a lot to me during the gaslighting period. She would get drunk and then proceed to tell me how many men that she met or this function or that function wanted to have sex with her. One time, when I was picking her up at the airport, she was all excited about two strange guys she had met on a plane and they had invited her out to dinner, and did I mind if she went alone? When I told her of course I minded, she clammed up and then told me not to get upset as it was just a big joke and they would never contact her. That's when I learned she had given out her phone number. And guess what happened on the drive back home from the airport to our house, a 15-minute trip I might add? One of the guys called her, wanting her to go out that night.
In my wife's mind, I am to blame for her stepping out on the marriage, having an affair with a married man, nearly breaking that marriage apart and her decision to leave me for this man (who dumped her a month later). I'm as serious as a heart attack. She has somehow rationalized that I am at fault for her actions, her cheating ways, and his decision to break it off with her. To this day I can't understand how she can possibly rationalize this, but therapists who have seen this before claim this is exactly what she's done. This is why she doesn't feel guilty about it. Because, somehow, I'm to blame for it.
Wise up my friend. She either already has cheated on you (most likely) or is about to step and out and do the deed. And, in her mind, the only person to blame for her cheating ways will be you. That's the way cheaters look at life. You're somehow to blame for the decision they made to step out and have an affair and they will also blame you for the end of the marriage, if it comes to such a thing.
I'm so very sorry this has happened to you and your life. If I had a magic pill or answer that would make this all go away I'd be a zillionaire many times over. So would most of us on this forum who have gone through it. But, all we can tell you is that you're not alone. We've been through it. We've lived through what you're living through now. And I'm sorry to say that tough times are ahead in your life.
What you do next is entirely up to you.