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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 01:44 PM Thread Starter
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Need advice

I am married twice . From my first wife , I have a kid . My first wife is very good by nature.after 7 years of happy marriage , I came in connection with a girl 15 years younger to me through Facebook and dont know when this friendship turns into love.She was a flirt at start and was faking that she love me but later she also fell in love to me. She later came to know I am already married and then she asked me to divorce and marry her.My first wife cooperated me and let me go. We divorced and I married my present wife .
My present wife love me . But my family including my mother , brother and sisters family are strongly connected to my first wife and my kid and haven't accepted my present wife. My wife's nature is over possessive and over jealous. She want me not to have any connection with my ex wife or anyone who have any connection with my ex wife.. Now it's very difficult for me as whole my family is strongly connected and even if I talks to my mother or my kid , my wife always have suspicion that they want that I go back to my first wife although it's not so. My wife has asked me to pledge never to meety ex and also never to meet my mother or anyone in my family without her accompanying me. But noone from my family want to meet her as she is very abusive and Ill behaving to them.She is abusive and have abused everyone in my family whenever she gets to know I have met anyone of them . So my mother , sister and all are gone distant from me as they want that we stay in peace.But still if ever my mother or anyone meets me , they do so without my wife's knowledge because they are scared of her as she is very short temper , Ill behaving and abusive.
Everytime she comes to know I have met anyone, she fights and beats me and I end-up beating her to stop her beating me. And after that she start saying she will have extra merital affair and start asking me to pledge this and that and never stops until I agreed to whatever are her demands though I knew it would not be possible for me to never talk to my mother and my daughter from my first wife.I have this guilty also that I left them and also feel responsibility towards them too.
My ex wife and my relation are like friends only now.


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Last edited by shaleen; 03-12-2017 at 01:51 PM.
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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 01:55 PM
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Re: Need advice

It looks like you made a very bad choice in marrying this woman you had a affair with. She is clearly emotionally and physically abusive.

What are you getting out of this marriage? I donít see that itís doing you any good.

Since there is domestic violence involved, you need to leave your wife and divorce her. Do this before you kill each other.

Then put your time and energy into raising your child and repairing the damage you have done to your entire family.

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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:10 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need advice

Thanks

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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need advice

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Thanks

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Whole I marry to this girl , that time also I marry because I love her and also I had this feeling what will happen to her if I will notarry her. She was from a poor family background and her father died . My Ex-wife is so so so good . She also said , I will manage myself and our kid but this girls life will be destroyed if I will not marry her. And so I marry .
But she is not greatful to my ex but hates her. Her heart is full of hatred for everyone who is in relation to me. She also abuses me when she is angry and said she repents that she had so many guys who have proposed her but shearry me , a guy who is 15 years older and is an old man. She calls me old man and openly says she miss all her old ex boy friends and say she will again get in touch with them and will start flirting and all.

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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:22 PM
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Re: Need advice

What do you expect from a woman who makes you leave your wife and child? She clearly has no moral values or integrity and is also very controlling, manipulative, violent and abusive. You must be able to see you own child and mother.
I think you need to end the marriage, apologise to your ex wife and child for the appalling way you treated them, and concentrate on being a good dad for once.
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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need advice

But , again the thought comes in mind, if I will.leave her , what will happen to my present wife.She is totally dependant on me.

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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:39 PM
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Re: Need advice

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But , again the thought comes in mind, if I will.leave her , what will happen to my present wife.She is totally dependant on me.
You worry more about your present wife, who abuses you, than you did about the good wife who is the mother to your child.

What country do you live in? Do they have marriage counselors and counselors for individuals there?

Your wife is scared that she is going to lose you. It does not excuse her bad behavior and treatment of you and your family. But if you want to stay with her you need to help her fix herself.

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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need advice

Thanks for your genuine advice.


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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need advice

I will first try to help her fix herself and even if she doesn't , then I will leave her for the good of everyone so that she and me both can stay in peace and I will be able to correct all the wrongs I have done.

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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:47 PM
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Re: Need advice

I do not know if I believe your post because all men I know woujld leave an abusive wife like yours. In case it is true, because there are men out there who are beaten by woman, I suggest you call the police when she beats you and then divorce her. If you keep putting up with it, you a have a serious mental problem for which you should seek help for.


Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.
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post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:47 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need advice

But can you suggest me how to correct her.Make her realise that noone is against her and even my ex have no hard feelings against her. My wife never listens and her heart is filled with hatred.

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post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:47 PM
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Re: Need advice

I'm thinking you got exactly what you asked for.

If you're not happy, throw this marriage in the garbage just like you did your first one, obviously you have no qualms about walking away from a commitment with a person who loves you, so once again, save yourself. It gets easier each time you do it.
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post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 04:31 PM
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Re: Need advice

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But , again the thought comes in mind, if I will.leave her , what will happen to my present wife.She is totally dependant on me.

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Why? Isnt she working?How did she manage before she met you?
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post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 04:32 PM
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Re: Need advice

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But can you suggest me how to correct her.Make her realise that noone is against her and even my ex have no hard feelings against her. My wife never listens and her heart is filled with hatred.

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You cant, she is not going to change.
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post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 04:34 PM
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Re: Need advice

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I will first try to help her fix herself and even if she doesn't , then I will leave her for the good of everyone so that she and me both can stay in peace and I will be able to correct all the wrongs I have done.

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You cant fix her, only she can. Have you even apologised to your first wife and child for what you did to them?
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