I was a computer programmer/analyst. I wont go back to doing that. I couldn't do that and be there for my daughter.
I'm a software engineer. Worked full time and raised 3 children and was the primary (only) breadwinner. I'm not sure why you feel that you cannot go back to being a computer programmer/analyst and be there for your daughter.
You could take a few college courses, or get an MS degree, to bring you up to date.
Your daughter would benefit more from seeing her mother be a strong woman who does not put up with being abused than she benefits from home schooling.
How many friends her own age does your daughter have? What sort of community and school activities is she involved in?
I know it's hard to get back out there to work, back into the community, etc after being a SHAM for so long. But you need to do it. It's pretty clear that your husband plans on divorcing you. It's a lot better that you make the initiative and use the next few months while he is gone to get ready for whatever he throws at you when he's back in town.
Does your husband ever complain that you are not working?
Does he ever complain that you depend too much on him? I'm wondering if part of the problem he has is that you have become so dependent, so isolated, that he feels like you are pulling him down emotionally. Even if he feels this way, it does not justify his behavior. But it might explain it.
Is your husband an officer or enlisted?