I wish people that suggest the 'leave him, get a job and give up your current life to work full time and miss out on raising your daughter' option could back it up with real life situations that detail how great it is and how they or others they personally know went about it.
I didn't have a job when I left my husband - a Lieutenant Colonel in the Army - but I knew I had to get out or get dragged under. Although I did not have children, I had two cats I had to take with me. Believe me, purebred Cornish Rex cats are just one step below a child!
My husband went down range one time too many. He would never address or admit that, but I could see how he changed. His drinking escalated. He became mean. My husband never had a mean bone in his body prior to a year in Kuwait/Iraq/Pakistan.
I spent five years with him after that last deployment. During that time, I got cancer, lived in the middle-of-nowhere with substandard medical care, and had no support system whatsoever. I had a college education, but the only job I could get was retail. So I took it. I didn't leave until he was out of the service and decided to just sit around and get gob smacked drunk most of the time.
I had no job. I had no health insurance. I had no support system. I had cancer. But I KNEW I was given this one, precious life to live. Talk about walking out in faith. I had about $56K to my name, and I only got that because he took a second mortgage on our home and I was owed half the equity. I also liquidated two IRA's.
So, how did I go about this? I didn't do that what-if scenario. I don't know if a meteor is going to come screaming out of the sky in an hour and kill me. All I know is, I live one day at a time. I don't sweat/worry about all the junk. YOU ARE HOLDING YOURSELF BACK BY A NEED TO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN. Guess what? All you are talking about may not happen. Granted, it may, but you are projecting the worst-case scenario, which keeps you stuck.
Me? I ended up living in a roach-infested Quality Inn off an interstate for a month. I ended up working at a Chik-Fil-A at a mall food court with a bunch of like-ya-know's. I ended up working at several full-time jobs with bosses who were certifiable. I ended up with a roommate and her daughter for seven months who literally threw trash on the floor. They were two of the biggest slobs I've ever known.
After that, I lived in a 250 square foot room over a smelly horse barn in southeast Pennsylvania. But I got state-funded medical care. I had six months of chemo. My crazy husband actually sent me $18K to move back west in July 2012, although we would be living 250 miles apart. I even had my car totaled while in PA by an 87-year-old man who ran a stop sign.
Today? My husband died. I have 55% of his Army pension, his social security, and I worked for three years in a dead-end/brain numbing county government job. But what did I gain? Self-sufficiency, self-respect, and the knowledge that all the WHAT-IF-THE-SKY-FALLS thinking kept me stuck in a terrible marriage for too long.
Will the same happen to you? No. You are not going to have the same set of circumstances as me. But I guarantee you, if you have the guts to leave - and NOT on his terms - you WILL come out victorious on the other side.
I can't explain it, but I didn't whine and complain when I had almost nothing. Frankly, for some strange reason, I figured ANYTHING would be better than the insanity I lived with. And it was. Something for you to consider. Seriously.