Impulsive and irresponsible is far from what we are.
You moved in together and were planning to marry within 9 months of knowing one another, and you have minor children who are dependent on you. Yes, my friend, the two of you are in fact impulsive and irresponsible, I'm not being rude I'm being realistic. I'll also add "immature" because the two of you, when angry, say hurtful things to one another. I know you think this is normal, but mature, caring individuals do NOT say hurtful things to one another when there is conflict, in fact they don't even yell and scream at each other. I know I sure don't.
What sort of birth control was she on that failed after 7 months? I'll hold my opinion as to whether or not you were responsible when it came to that particular aspect until and unless more information is provided. Did she "forget" to take a pill, did you "forget to wear a condom" did you "rely on the pull out method?". You see those are 3 very common irresponsible reasons why birth control, which is almost 100% effective, can fail after only a few months.
We are just old enough and have been through enough **** to realize what we want in a relationship.
We all think that. Even those who marry and have children in their late teens. Very few of us are right.
Cut my losses, abortion, etc. these things are not even part of the discussion.
Maybe they need to be. In fact, "cutting your losses" which is the same thing as "breaking up" WAS part of HER discussion. Remember when she said "maybe I'm not the girl for you" shortly before you decided to get married because you are both so sure of what you want?
Facts about marriage failure rates don't do much for me if we want it to work, and we do, it will.
Lots of people who get divorce wanted the marriage to work. Wanting something to work isn't enough when the two people are not only not on the same page but they are on different books on different shelves. The two of you aren't even in the same library.
We will figure this out together just like we have done everything else. Every issue is just a learning experience. Its not that she is not willing to address it its more that she is not ready to.
I admire your ability to be so optimistic in the face of such a dire prognosis.