Re: Struggling man looking for advice
My husband and I were married nine years when we had our first child. I was happy with one child, but my husband really wanted more children. We had another child about three years after the first. I thought we were done having children and I was careful about our pregnancy prevention method. Despite this, I got pregnant with #3. Our children are all space 2 years 9 month apart.
I was not happy about being pregnant. I cried when I read the positive results of the pregnancy test. My husband was overjoyed. He did not pressure me at all. He hugged me and told me that everything was going to be okay and this was a wonderful thing. He reassured me, but didn't pressure me. He gave me time to come to terms with everything.
After two girls, we had a boy. That boy has turned into a wonderful, loving young man. I have learned so much from being his mother and am eternally thankful for his place in our family. He truly completed our family. Of course when I was looking at the positive result on that pregnancy test, I had no idea that would be the case. It took a while to wrap my mind around it all.
Love your girlfriend. Just love her. Listen to her. Be there for her. Don't smother her or become needy. Be strong and reliable. She needs to feel safe and protected. She needs to see that the two of you handle anything that comes your way. Eventually she will come around and be fine, but it's going to take time. This is a major change of plan for her. She did not factor this in and is going to have to rework her life plan to include another baby.
If she sees you as more work or as someone she can manipulate or control, things will not go well with you. On the other hand, if she sees you as a life partner who can be relied upon who has her back and is not weak, she will be fine.