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advice on seperated wife

4K views 43 replies 19 participants last post by  Spicy 
#1 ·
Hi,

I was wondering if anyone could help.

My wife of 3 years told me 3 months ago we were over (out of the blue) We have been together nearly 8 years and have 2 young children, im 37, she is 32.

We had moved into our new house that she had longed for because we were looking for the forever home. We moved in November but after we moved she was behaving very distant and unhappy.

After a lot of confrontations she told me she didnt love me anymore, she said she had felt like it for a long time. i did all the classic mistakes of being needy, pleading which pushed her further away to the point she decided to move out with the kids into a rented house, this was 1 month ago.

Since then i have found another guy who she works with has been round a couple of times (not stayed over) and she has stayed over at his (once so far) but has claimed nothing has happened but she is unsure how she feels about him but she claims she is being open and honest about it because she cares about me.

During the time she told me it was over she has either txt random stuff to me or called me daily. I went away over the weekend and I didnt call about the kids as I just wanted to have a break, she told me when i got back on Sunday that she had been waiting all day for me to call her about the kids.

I kinda lost it with her yesterday and started the begging and pleading and obviously want to save our marriage but she has said point blank, i dont love you and dont want to go back to the same relationship, she said it would be ok for 2 weeks then I would go back to how i was so it is definately over, it got a bit heated and i stormed out because our children were next to us and she was raging at me. She then sent me 4 txts after saying I need to tell her when im having the kids and storming out isnt solving anything, then she asked me to call after i didn't reply to any of them. I did call and we were on the phone for about an hour but she persisted that we are over and she needs to move on.

So, im really confused by it all, why txt me and call me, but then be so horrible to me and cold. I do love her dearly but she always throws it back saying you have only started showing love because she has left etc and she shouldnt have to tell someone how to behave which is why she cant be with me. She has removed her rings delibertatley about 5 weeks ago.

She has reeled off a list of pretty lame reasons to end the marriage, such as not cooking her dinner.

Ive obviously made things worse by losing it with her over this other guy so more damage has been done.

clearly i have things to work on and change but so does she however she is unwilling to give it a chance and blames it all on me.

any advice?

thanks in advance.
 
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#44 ·
I didn't have time to read the replies you got, but wanted to leave a comment.

Where she is at was where I ended up with my exhusband. I had given him YEARS of chances to work on the marriage. He would do better for a couple of weeks, and everything would revert back to awful. He never believed I would leave. He was wrong. Once I filed and left he was shocked and willing to do anything to keep me. It was too late. Just like it is for you.

Lesson for men to learn - LISTEN when she tells you she is unhappy, and if you want to keep her, make the adjustments.
 
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