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post #31 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 04:19 AM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

Divorcing her because she is abusing you!!



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post #32 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 04:44 AM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

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Originally Posted by jimmac1977 View Post
thanks for the replies.

Im not sure she is as deep in love as it sounds, I know he has popped round after work but then has left however she said she wants to move on and anything can happen.

Im doing the best i can from today to not talk about the marriage, nor this other guy. The main issue i have is i see her every other day because of the kids so have no choice but to talk to her, today is was just general chit chat but mainly about the kids, then she left.

so hard.
WHY are you having general chit chat with her, stop swallowing the crumbs she is throwing your way. No chat, no nothing, friendly hand over of kids, no nothing.

Get the divorce papers and hand them to her, her head will spin. Take back control of this runaway train now.
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post #33 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 06:31 AM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

She is not interested in divorcing you? That just means she's not interested in getting remarried. She's having sex with other men and not even hiding it from you.

File for divorce. From what I've read on here, a man is truly a complete idiot if he's in the U.K. And marries. Your system over there makes the us system seem almost fair toward men.

As said, divorce her because she's abusing you. I wish there was some way to change your mind on how you feel about her. I know exactly how you feel.
Get some antidepressants from your doctor for a few months.

You'll be in misery until you can accept that she's never coming back and you are going to have to start over. It can be done.
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post #34 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 11:14 AM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

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Originally Posted by jimmac1977 View Post
wow lots of responses, ive been in bed as im from the UK.

ok firstly, the point about her staying at this guys house, this was because he had invited her out for dinner and some drinks, I know she didn't get wasted because first thing the next day she was messaging about the me and the kids, saying she hoped we have a nice day etc etc. She had the whole day to stay with him if she wanted to but she went shopping around mid day.

You're trying to convince yourself it's not what it is. Wake up!

Hes invited her out again so she tells me, so again im guessing she will be going over to his no doubt.

BTW he is single, ten years older than her and has no kids. ive met him a couple of times on her work occasions.

Im under no illusion that theres more to it and the comments about her keeping me in the background make sense.

Financially, shes not asking me for a penny, shes moved out and doing it all alone, she wants me to make sure I can keep the house so the kids have a future.

That will change it always does.

I know i have to accept its over, she doesn't love me.

She's told you and shown you who she is. Better get out of denial.

Over here we dont have to file for seperation, you just do it which she has done.

She has suffered from depression various occasions and has low self esteem.

There are no excuses for and affair.

I will be following the 180 though, she cant be keeping me hanging. Over here to file for divorce we have to wait 2 years after the serperation otherwise its very expensive. Shes never once mentioned about divorcing me though.

Hanging onto a sliver of hope that it will all just go away and you won't have to actually do anything won't help you much
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post #35 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 05:08 PM Thread Starter
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Re: advice on seperated wife

just to update, shes gone away again tonight, apparantly to another girls house who she works with.

the random calls continue until its time for her to go away, i know ive been played but tomorrow is a different story.

ill update next week, thanks for all the advice.
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post #36 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 07:18 PM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

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Originally Posted by jimmac1977 View Post
just to update, shes gone away again tonight, apparantly to another girls house who she works with.

Nope, she's with her boyfriend. Your denial is strong but it won't get you much.

the random calls continue until its time for her to go away, i know ive been played but tomorrow is a different story.

ill update next week, thanks for all the advice.
Typical affair. Sorry man but you need to get real.
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post #37 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 07:20 PM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmac1977 View Post
just to update, shes gone away again tonight, apparantly to another girls house who she works with.

the random calls continue until its time for her to go away, i know ive been played but tomorrow is a different story.

ill update next week, thanks for all the advice.
Dude,

My first wife was banging her bf for 2 years before I found out... the only overnight she had with him before I found out, she banged him all night and called me at 730 am in the morning and wanted to go to church with me.

Women in affairs, with husbands they are stringing along, are quite evil.

File today and move on.
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post #38 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 07:23 PM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmac1977 View Post
just to update, shes gone away again tonight, apparantly to another girls house who she works with.

the random calls continue until its time for her to go away, i know ive been played but tomorrow is a different story.

ill update next week, thanks for all the advice.
Are you ok with your wife dating someone else? When that sinks in, come back for more advice. Seriously. Let that sink in. Your wife had a boyfriend, and your making excuses for her.

Everyone here wants to help, but you need to realize where you are in the relationship.

Cheers,
V(13)
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post #39 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 07:26 PM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmac1977 View Post
wow lots of responses, ive been in bed as im from the UK.

ok firstly, the point about her staying at this guys house, this was because he had invited her out for dinner and some drinks, I know she didn't get wasted because first thing the next day she was messaging about the me and the kids, saying she hoped we have a nice day etc etc. She had the whole day to stay with him if she wanted to but she went shopping around mid day.

Hes invited her out again so she tells me, so again im guessing she will be going over to his no doubt.

BTW he is single, ten years older than her and has no kids. ive met him a couple of times on her work occasions.

Im under no illusion that theres more to it and the comments about her keeping me in the background make sense.

Financially, shes not asking me for a penny, shes moved out and doing it all alone, she wants me to make sure I can keep the house so the kids have a future.

I know i have to accept its over, she doesn't love me.

Over here we dont have to file for seperation, you just do it which she has done.

She has suffered from depression various occasions and has low self esteem.

I will be following the 180 though, she cant be keeping me hanging. Over here to file for divorce we have to wait 2 years after the serperation otherwise its very expensive. Shes never once mentioned about divorcing me though.
Blah blah blah.

She's cheating.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #40 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:16 PM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

She's at a friend's house.
👥😳

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post #41 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 02:16 AM Thread Starter
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Re: advice on seperated wife

guys, i have got real and no im not happy about her dating someone else.

As i said today changes, i can see straight through it all now and have added it all up (whilst i have the kids and shes out)

your absolutely right, shes cheating and is a dirty sl**
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post #42 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 06:19 AM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

So what are you going to do about it?

Your words are meaningless. Trying to manipulate her in this will get you nothing.

Actions are what's needed. Better get prepared.
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post #43 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 06:44 AM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

Call a lawyer ,know your rights ,don't do anything that would harm your relationship with your children.

Hold your head high non of this is your fault.


Many lawyer consultations are free.
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post #44 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 09:06 AM
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Re: advice on seperated wife

I didn't have time to read the replies you got, but wanted to leave a comment.

Where she is at was where I ended up with my exhusband. I had given him YEARS of chances to work on the marriage. He would do better for a couple of weeks, and everything would revert back to awful. He never believed I would leave. He was wrong. Once I filed and left he was shocked and willing to do anything to keep me. It was too late. Just like it is for you.

Lesson for men to learn - LISTEN when she tells you she is unhappy, and if you want to keep her, make the adjustments.

Ciao,

Spicy
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