How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???
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Old 12-28-2011, 12:47 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

This thing has been worrying me for quite some time now.
I am 35 and my wife is 24.We got married last year and shes expecting our first baby.
Recently a really hot guy has moved in in our neighborhood who has his sights on my wife.He knows me though,not really well but as aquaintances.
Hes single ,is young around 26 maybe and lives alone.
When he first shifted here he didnt come over at all but recently he makes all kinds of excuse to speak to my wife.
Though my wife is young shes really sensible and doesnt really appreciate his frequent vists.
I ve seen him staring at her and he always keeps complimenting her on how pretty she is.
I ve noticed that whenever my wife takes a photo of us together (she always holds me really closely)if that guy is present,he always looks away.
Even when she sits with me,she ll always hold me by the arm and then that guy will actually comment shes being clingy.
I dont have a problem so why does he???
He told my wife once that i used to be a player but it didnt affect her.She knows my past and doesnt care about who i ve been with but i dont feel secure leaving my wife alone.
That guy is getting on my nerves.
How do i make him stay away from her???
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Old 12-28-2011, 01:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

Teach your wife how to shoot.

Honestly... that guy sounds creepy. It's one thing to think a neighbor girl is attractive and say hi when you run into her, but to make extra visits to the house and the way he is acting (at least reading in your posts) kind of freaks me out, and if I was your wife I'd be keeping the doors locked. You never know what can happen with people who become obsessed/infatuated with someone that they really don't know at all.

If it's really getting bad, then I'd also think about moving if that's at all possible.
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Old 12-28-2011, 01:21 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

Why the hell would you move because of a creepy neighbor?

If I moved every time a neighbor was being an idiot I`d have to buy an RV.

He`s making inappropriate comments towards your wife she should slap him down.'
If she won`t or can`t there isn`t a damn thing you can do because unless he hears it from her he`ll just keep coming no matter what you do or say short of an ass beating.
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Old 12-28-2011, 07:49 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

It's time for both you and your wife to put a stop to this guy. You can say it nicely, but sincerely that you don't appreciate the extra attention that he pays your wife and to stay off of your property completely.
Your wife needs to tell him that she has no interest in him whatsoever and that he should leave her alone.
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Old 12-28-2011, 07:56 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

I'm with Tacoma. It's got to come from her first. Once she says something if he doesn't back off then it's time for you to get involved and explain it to him.
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Old 12-28-2011, 08:04 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

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I'm with Tacoma. It's got to come from her first. Once she says something if he doesn't back off then it's time for you to get involved and explain it to him.
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tatally disagree.


pull him aside when your wife is watching. and tell him in no uncertine terms that he is an inch away from an a** kicking if he keeps it up. let your wife see you protecting your family.


and follow through if he continues.
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Old 12-28-2011, 08:29 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

You are not required to hang around with him or open your door when he knocks. Next time he knocks either ignore him, or open the door blocking entrance and say..."We're kinda busy right now and will see you later"...smile, wink and close the door.

Call it out to him straight up in front of her, "Hey Joe here is the deal......We are not going to be able to make time for you anymore because XYZ and we have a baby on the way. See you around sometimes" And walk away.
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Old 12-28-2011, 08:34 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

You can't make him stay away from your wife but you can talk to her and tell her she needs good boundaries and tell him he is NOT welcome in your home.
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Old 12-28-2011, 08:46 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

Have you discussed your concerns with your wife? Does she recognize the inappropriate actions of this guy? Are you worried he's a threat to your marriage? Or a threat to your wife's safety? If a threat to your marriage, I would talk to your wife and get her take on dude's behavior, first. If for her safety, I would stay away from him as much as possible, I.e. turn him away if he knocks.
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Old 12-28-2011, 09:27 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

My guess is that once she has the baby he will go away.
She's only looking attractive to him because he can't impregnate her. Not to say your wife isn't hot, but predators, as you know, are quick to move in on women when there is small risk and also when they might be feeling vulnerable about their looks (some guys think that women only want to be thin and model-like and are incapable of feeling attractive when they're pregnant, which is absolutely wrong). I agree with others that your W needs some training on how to establish boundaries with men or other people who are unwanted or only partially wanted with limits, in her life. Some assertiveness training would be good for her. If a guy told me I was being clingy if I were sitting with my H, I'd tell him point blank he was being jealous if not inappropriate. This guy is probably justifying his behavior by your past, thinking he is doing her a favor, or trying to convince himself of that. She really has to establish her own boundaries and you can tell her that it is important to you that she does so. If you try to do it, it will be a losing battle, it will only encourage the guy to think that you are controlling and posessive and jealous and that your marriage might be insecure.

I'd make it clear too that he wasn't to visit your W in the hospital if that's where she's going to give birth, she can take care of this by filling out some simple forms that hospitals are required to offer all patients, and asking the nurses in the maternity area to be aware that he is on a no-visit, no-call list.

He sounds kind of creepy. The alternative is that he has a mommy complex, and feels like he is in need of a mommy figure in his life. When I was young and pregnant there was an embassy marine that had me as a fixture, well somewhere between a mommy fixture in a strange country under martial law, and a crush. But I was aware of it and managed it better. There are some things that are cute, and some things that are creepy. Your wife has to follow her own instinct and not use you as a barricade or go-to-guy for her protection.
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Old 12-28-2011, 09:47 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

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Originally Posted by Wheels65 View Post
You are not required to hang around with him or open your door when he knocks. Next time he knocks either ignore him, or open the door blocking entrance and say..."We're kinda busy right now and will see you later"...smile, wink and close the door.

Call it out to him straight up in front of her, "Hey Joe here is the deal......We are not going to be able to make time for you anymore because XYZ and we have a baby on the way. See you around sometimes" And walk away.

I do not understand why you let him in your house. There is no law that you have to be friends with someone that you do not like. I would also ask your wife to do the same when you are not home.
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Old 12-28-2011, 10:39 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

Why is he around your and her so much? If he is coming into your home, stop letting him in.

Also tell you wife, you want him gone from your lives. Tell her he's clearly trying to charm her and put the move on her, and that there is no way you're going to accept any one into your house that would so openly disrespect your marriage.
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Old 12-28-2011, 11:11 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

Chillymorn has it right. Tell this guy what you think in no uncertain terms. Why even put up with his crap? What are you afraid of?

If it was me, I'd be telling him if he doesn't stay away I'd be kicking his A$$.
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Old 12-28-2011, 11:22 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

even if he is bigger stronger than you.


hey, I was quite the scrapper in my youth and the one thing I learned is most fights are won with the first punch to the face and then your on him like white on rice.

even if he wins he will have respect for you and you will have respect for yourself. and then he will pick on some other mans pregnate wife.

hell after typing that I feel like kicking his a** and I don't even know him.

yea you might get sued but your marriage will be stronger and that will be worth every penny.

if your wife objects after kicking his a** just tell her she should have told him in no uncertine term that he was a royal a**hOle and to stay away.
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Old 12-28-2011, 11:30 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???

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If it was me, I'd be telling him if he doesn't stay away I'd be kicking his A$$.
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