How would you define 'nagging'? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 12:32 PM
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Re: How would you define 'nagging'?

Ask him once, maybe twice if life is hectic. If he forgets, it's on him. And don't buy into the whole "remind me to . . ." He's an adult, he does adult things all day, every day, and you're not his mother. He doesn't get to suddenly revert to a child on things he doesn’t want to do.

Twice, max.

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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 12:44 PM
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Re: How would you define 'nagging'?

Quote:
Originally Posted by IMFarAboveRubies View Post
I like your idea. How do you handle it if one party decides that a certain chore is unnecessary, or doesn't need to be done as frequently? I could see that chore landing on the person who believes it is important. If the finances aren't there, I could see arguments ensuing if the (dirtier) person doesn't want to do the chore and doesn't want to pay for it to be done either.
You keep brainstorming until you both find a solution you agree with. Maybe the spouse who cares more takes on that job but gives up a different one for the other to do instead?

Compromising results in resentment. It is so much better in a marriage to keep searching for solutions until you mutually agree. And maybe the finances aren't there immediately...but the couple could agree to give up something else in order to pay for a service. That's another solution that could be on the table. Instead of eating out twice a week, maybe we eat out once and use the money to hire a cleaning service? Or grocery delivery? Or gardener?

The idea is that there is only so much time, and in a marriage, both spouses have the right to agree on how the other spends their time.
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