Re: Dating: I think I have stronger feelings - can it still work?
Hi, thank you again for the comments.
It is comforting to hear that many of you who replied are confused/hesitant about all this. It makes me more at ease with my own hesitant feelings. At the moment I'm at a good place with all of this, I think things are progressing in a comfortable way and at an comfortable pace. I have been open and clear about the things I want in the future and that with time I want to progress towards those things, and I know she wants that too. For the time being this arrangement is working.
I have been to her place multiple times and have stayed for the night a few times. She has been to my place too but not for the night. I expect that'll happen in the near future though. As I wrote before, we have shared some intimate things, physical too. For me it is important to verify verbally a lot of things to know where we are and based on the information I have gotten it is my understanding that she is happy with how things have progressed and if anything would like to move faster than we are moving in certain areas. Which is good. I am still not ready to move forward on some fronts, but with each passing week I am feeling more secure with her and more ready to share even more intimacy with her.
We're still quite much strangers to each other and yes, it does take a long time to truly get to know someone. Weíre currently in a place where Iím learning new bigger things of her. So far the things Iíve learned have all made me even more interested in her. The slow pace at the moment gives lots of time to think about the things I learn of her and that has been good for now. I feel itís a positive sign that she wants to share more of herself with me as time goes by. I interpert that means she feels some level of secureness with me and trust.
My life has with years become quite stoic and maybe to many, boring. Itís heavy with routines, and in many ways very simple (work, parenting, personal hobbies, occational nights out with friends, rinse and repeat, year after year). To me, itís a very pleasing way to exist. I guess out of the two, thereís less of my life to learn as far as comes to my daily life and of the core needs I have at this point in my life. Though naturally thereís at the same time very much in my life to take in and things I am very protective about (most important being my child), so itís not only her who has areas in which she wants to guard for the time being.
As for boring sex life Ė I guess thatís quite an subjective experience. In my stoic way of life itís likely that sexual things become with time in some ways stoic as well. Time will tell if that is something she finds pleasing. Iíve been in different kinds of relationships and have come to learn that sex is an essential part of life, and if incorporated into an amorous relationship in a way that sexual things are only shared within that relationship, it needs to work very well. In this I need more time to get to know her and her thoughts, though what I know so far is very promising. It seems we both think sexuality to be an important part of life and something that is an very important part of a relationship.