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post #31 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 10:41 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
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Re: Stunting your partner's development

There are some people that need constant "hand holding" and the people they attract are mostly caretakers.

It sounds to me like you want to be one of those caretakers. Maybe you enjoy taking care of people?

Not a single thing wrong with that, but it gets old sometimes as you wish the person you're involved with could make at least one decision for themselves.

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post #32 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 09:05 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2016
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Re: Stunting your partner's development

Originally Posted by ThisIsAUserName View Post
Say you met a partner when they weren't even a legal adult yet (you weren't much older, but an adult). The person has a million qualities you love. At the same time, as a 17 year old, there are things about them that are under-developed due to lack of life experience, but you figure it's safe to assume they'll grow, learn, and figure adult life out, just as any other reasonable growing young adult would...just as you did yourself, and continue to do. As their devoted partner, you do everything you can to help them, guide them, support them, be a safety net for them, be understanding when they fail, help them onto their feet, all the things a person who loves another person would and should do. As the slightly older and more experienced one, as the one with the good job, savings, a good outlook on life and good track record so far, you understand that majority of the helping that goes on between the two of you is going to be you helping them, and you're mostly OK with that.
Golly, but you sure were extremely careful NOT to mention your age but I'll bet it's a 'bit' more than your claim that you aren't 'much' older than her. You just danced too much around it which screams there IS a significant difference.

And anytime an ADULT is grooming a kid under 18 (who probably hasn't even been to her senior prom yet) for a relationship with them, it's downright creepy. Period.

You reap what you sow, OP. Had you chosen to be with another adult instead of grooming a teenaged child (which is EXACTLY what you did), you wouldn't be where you are now.
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