Should husband apologize? - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:22 PM
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Re: Should husband apologize?

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Originally Posted by MrNightly View Post
I'm going to print off annulment papers and hand them to her tonight.

I'm so over the abusive games she plays then expects me to be ok when she comes out of her fit.

I also want to ensure she doesn't run away with the baby who is due in a month. I'm probably need to fight for full custody.
I think her behavior is bordering emotionally abusive, to be honest. Threatening divorce, silent treatment, etc...it's emotionally taxing, and you don't deserve it. You tolerate it, so she keeps it up. I think you should simply have a talk with her saying that you both need to do better at showing each other love, and that if it doesn't change, then maybe divorce should be discussed. It's weird the things we get used to in a relationship, thinking they're normal, just to keep the peace.


Every now and then, you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. - unknown

I'm newly married
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post #32 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:38 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Should husband apologize?

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Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
I think her behavior is bordering emotionally abusive, to be honest. Threatening divorce, silent treatment, etc...it's emotionally taxing, and you don't deserve it. You tolerate it, so she keeps it up. I think you should simply have a talk with her saying that you both need to do better at showing each other love, and that if it doesn't change, then maybe divorce should be discussed. It's weird the things we get used to in a relationship, thinking they're normal, just to keep the peace.
Well that's the thing. We do talk. Every time she comes out of hiding. And this last time she agreed to not do it anymore.

Well, that didn't last and she broke her promise.

I'd love to sit down with my wife and have a heart to heart, but we only get to do that when she permits... and then why even bother? She isn't going to keep her word!

I'm thinking I should just move to New Zealand and forget this entire life. I've obviously been a complete and utter failure at it.
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post #33 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 11:56 AM
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Re: Should husband apologize?

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Originally Posted by MrNightly View Post
Well that's the thing. We do talk. Every time she comes out of hiding. And this last time she agreed to not do it anymore.

Well, that didn't last and she broke her promise.

I'd love to sit down with my wife and have a heart to heart, but we only get to do that when she permits... and then why even bother? She isn't going to keep her word!

I'm thinking I should just move to New Zealand and forget this entire life. I've obviously been a complete and utter failure at it.
Sounds like you're in what seems to be an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship.

I don't know what advice to give other than, once the pain of staying is worse than the thought of leaving, you'll leave. Unless she changes and starts treating you better, but it sounds like she runs the show, and likes it that way. And you let her.

Sorry you're here in such a situation. It saddens me that quite a few of you here are in controlling, abusive marriages and have tried to make it seem normal for yourselves, but love doesn't throw wedding rings back at you, threaten divorce every other argument, and give silent treatment after apologies have been made. I get that once kids are in the picture, it gets harder to leave, but your kids are learning bad marriage behaviors from these consistent episodes. Arguing and conflict resolution is a normal part of healthy relationships, but then there's abuse...and that's what it seems like you're dealing with.

Every now and then, you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. - unknown

I'm newly married
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