Husband and money
My husband makes good money, supports our family and is basically a pretty good guy for the most part. He also spends a lot of time on the road and oftentimes stays in an apartment where he works. He's home little and we try to make it work.
Our biggest problem lately is his jealousy over the money I spend. I help pay the bills and put some money aside for savings. After that, I might spend a little bit on myself..yet not much. I believe in being debt free, so I don't use charge cards. If I want something, I use what I've saved.
He hates the amount I spend on my hair; but he can spend $500 on another gun to add to his gun collection. I don't complain as he works hard and deserves it.
I work also and don't spend much. However, what I DO buy, he seems to have a problem with.
Let's begin with the baker's rack I spent a mere $35 on. He blew a gasket. Why, I really don't know but he just can't seem to let it go.
Then there was the time I had car problems and had to have my car towed to the garage. The new battery I'd bought was dead in addition to alternator problems. Had them both fixed with my own funds and he blew another gasket over the fact that I had to buy a new battery. He didn't think I needed one and was all over it. Several months later the same thing happened to him where his alternator went out and he had to purchase a new battery also. That argument was finally laid to rest, thank goodness.
Recently our garage door took a dump when I was opening it. Blew a spring and one of the wheels flew off the track. I just felt lucky just to have the door down and called a professional for advice. Note that he had nothing to do with a sale or anything and told me that it was probably better to replace both the door and the opener as they were both over 25 years old. Once the door was replaced, the opener would probably go out shortly after that.
I should have just shut up and had them both replaced without saying a word to my husband; since I planned to pay for the door/opener out of my own pocket anyway. Stupid me told him my plans to replace both and my husband blew a gasket saying, "I told you to just replace the garage door..why the opener too???" Explained the situation to him, he said, "Whatever.." and hung up on me. Haven't talked to him since.
I'm tired of trying to do the right thing all the time when he's on the road. Oftentimes I've asked him what I should do about certain house issues and all he says is, "I have no idea.."
With our two jobs, we could make it work. However, he'd rather have his toys and spend the rest on his two children. Last month alone, his daughter decided to watch over 30 movies on Google at the cost of $3.45 per movie. $103.50 later my husband said he was going to cut her off.
Being a constant over spender when it comes to his kids; the week we got married, he asked to borrow $4000 from my dad: 1) to pay off my ring; and 2) to spoil his kids we had for another two weeks. In addition, he also borrowed $3000 from his parents, which he paid back as soon as he got back to work and got paid. My dad is still waiting for his pay back and I've been nothing but nice about kindly asking my husband to pay back what he owes. His reply is always, "We'll get there.." but my dad isn't getting any younger.
I avoid arguments at all costs, and have asked nicely without being a nag. My husband has it but keeps putting my dad's loan to him on the back burner, to the point that my dad has finally said, "Forget it, I'll never see it.." and has little respect for my husband.
I'm getting to the point of being done. I love my husband but when he has little respect for me and the little things I spend on myself; can go out and spend $500 on a gun; and has no respect for the amount of money he owes my family..I'm not so sure I can do this anymore.
I'd love to save my marriage, but if it's going to cost my feeling guilty over every dime I spend along with his disrespect for the money he owes my family..I think I'd rather be single.