wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 11:27 PM Thread Starter
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wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

I've recently decided to convert to Christianity so I can get my wife to stop watching lesbian porn.

however she refuses.

how do I get her to believe in the way of god?

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post #2 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 11:30 PM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

You don't. That is her choice, just like it is yours.

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post #3 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 11:34 PM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

Until a person hits a point in their life where they decide to change, you can't force them.
HOWEVER, you can be the best husband & christian you can be. Hopefully, she sees the change in you and decides she wants a part of what you have.

Each person has to answer for them self.
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post #4 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 11:36 PM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

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Originally Posted by yichud View Post
I've recently decided to convert to Christianity so I can get my wife to stop watching lesbian porn.

however she refuses.

how do I get her to believe in the way of god?
You converted to Christianity to get your wife to stop watching porn? Dude, that's crazy.
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post #5 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 11:42 PM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

Do you really believe? Or is this just a manipulation to get your file to do what you want?

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post #6 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 12:54 AM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

Either you believe or not. Religion is based on faith and you cannot just say you believe in something if you do not. Plus it is not nice to force your religion on anyone and perhaps that is why you two have a problem. I am an atheist despite going to Catholic school. I am too logical to believe in any God, but think it is great for those who need it to get through life. However, you cannot force your religion on anyone. That is not a no-no and marriage counselors would agree with me.

Perhaps your wife is bisexual like mine is. No big deal. I ended up have a few thousand threesomes over 44 years of marriage. Best part is that it is not against my religion. Read my signature. It is very true. People rather suffer in their own morality than accept one that works for them. You are forcing your morality on your wife and I would not blame her if she left you for a girl. You two are not meant to be together and no amount of religion is going to turn someone straight. That is old thinking. Do you think gay people have a choice and they chose to be gay and have the world prejudiced against them and have a harder life than heterosexuals? Come on. Your wife is the way she is whether by nature or nurture and you should accept her for who she is. Changing her will not work and it will only push her away from you. Maybe she is already dating girls. That is what a lot of bi girls do when their husbands reject their sexuality. I have only dated bi girls since I was 15 and that is not by choice. They see me as a sexually liberal person that they do not have to hide their sexuality from. I know that they cannot be changed. My ex fiancee had a husband for 20 years and now is married to a women. Yet she is a devote Jew from an Orthodox family. My wife was raised Christian and believes in God and Jesus. She has never tried to push her religion on me and it certainly did not turn her straight. In fact, it made her unhappy trying to repress her sexual identity for many years. She thought she should not feel the way she felt about women and as a result felt that something was missing in her life. I allowed her to explore her sexuality and she was the religious one in the family, not me. I am straight.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.
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post #7 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 12:58 AM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

Yeah, OP, that sounds really extreme. I know you want her to stop watching the homosexual stuff but faking being a Christian is not the way. Plus, she can probably sense that your religiousness is insincere since you seem to be trying to use it to control her, giving further credence to the stereotype that religion is about "control". She has to change on her own time and in her own way. Does that sound unhelpful? Well, it should. You are powerless in this situation. If you really were genuine about your conversion you would pray that God changes her, not try to force her to see things your way.

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post #8 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 03:41 AM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

You want your wife to believe in a completely bollocks way of life to stop her doing something else?

Good with that!
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post #9 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 04:59 AM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

God works in mysterious ways.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

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post #10 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 05:42 AM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

Ask if you can warch together

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post #11 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 08:49 AM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

Pray for her and ask others to do the same. You cant force her to want to know Jesus Christ, so be patient. It may take years for her to see what she is missing. Have you got a good church?
I hope that she will stop the porn, its so damaging for the marriage, have you asked her to stop?
I wouldn't put up with it myself. I would say, its the porn or me. A lady I knew did that, her husband has been looking at porn for years and kept promising to stop. One day she had enough and was planning to leave. She gave him one last chance, her or the porn, and because he knew she was serious he stopped, just like that.
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post #12 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 08:50 AM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

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Originally Posted by FrazzledSadHusband View Post
Until a person hits a point in their life where they decide to change, you can't force them.
HOWEVER, you can be the best husband & christian you can be. Hopefully, she sees the change in you and decides she wants a part of what you have.

Each person has to answer for them self.
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post #13 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 10:03 AM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

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Originally Posted by yichud View Post
I've recently decided to convert to Christianity so I can get my wife to stop watching lesbian porn.

however she refuses.

how do I get her to believe in the way of god?
I don't think this will help at all.
You just come across as desperately trying to control her, it's your insecurity too that's a hindrance also.
Perhaps you would be better to set up an appointment with a sex therapist for the two of you.

She's either a lesbian or a woman seeking a pleasurable experience in the bedroom, you are trying to throw cold water on her so the problem will go away, instead of looking at how you can improve your sex life and give her the orgasms she craves.

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post #14 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 10:24 AM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

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Originally Posted by yichud View Post
I've recently decided to convert to Christianity so I can get my wife to stop watching lesbian porn.

however she refuses.

how do I get her to believe in the way of god?
Dude... Not cool at all. You decided to become a Christian ONLY to get your wife to stop watching lesbian porn? Seriously?

First, that is not the right frame of mind for yourself to convert, let alone your wife. Your conversion is about you, and no one else. And "converting" to control someone else's activities is not ok.

Second, you cannot force her to believe in God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. That has to come from her, and her alone. Sure, you can talk to her about Him, but it is her choice whether to believe or not. Can it happen? Sure. But if you try to force it, it will never happen.

Seriously, yichud, why don't you just talk to her about the porn, and tell her why it bothers you? But, I will say one thing... if you currently view heterosexual porn, are unwilling to give it up, and you are trying to force your wife to give up the lesbian porn, under the guise of conversion to Christianity, you are a hypocrite.

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post #15 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 10:24 AM
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Re: wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ

I find it hard to believe the craziness of some people.
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