Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Southern USA, but longtime NYC boy prior to our move.
Re: I'm so confused.........
Half the kids in America come from divorced parents and they do just fine. You will get visitation rights and by the sound of it, your wife is going to be happy to be very generous in letting you take the kids for a long time. Buying a house is not a good idea right now. She would be entitled to half of it and either have to sell it or one of you has to buy out the other. You can end up paying 1 1/2 times the cost of the house if you want it or at least pay the mortgage for a very long time. Could be years depending on what State you live in.
Many think they should stay in a bad marriage for the sake of the kids. That is wrong thinking. First off you will be unhappy and secondly your kids will sense it and when they get married the only role models they will have are you and your wife. If that is dysfunctional, you are not setting a good example of married life for them. My parents are married for life. They argued and fought but divorce was never an option. As a result they worked things out. They just turned 90 and still married almost almost 70 years. I am married for life despite the occasional bumps in the road that affects all marriages. I learned from my parents. What will your kids learn from you when you and your wife are fighting all the time and do not show love in your marriage?
My wife's best friend lived with us for most of our marriage (we had no kids). Once when I told her that I love her, she cried. I asked why are you crying and she said that her parents never showed loved to each other or their children and this is the first time someone told her that he loves her. My niece is a product of my sister and her husband staying together for the sake of the children. She is 32, unmarried and just got pregnant. She was engaged twice and dumped by her fiancee both times because they could not live with her. She did not know what real love was like. She is a very pretty girl too.
Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality when the choice is monogamy or your marriage.
Last edited by Vinnydee; 03-19-2017 at 01:36 PM.