Do you still have anything to do with the women in your past? Do you, or both of you, ever run into them socially?
Hi, thanks for your response. She doesn't have a reputation for being promiscuous at all. Also, i believe I do trust her. It's more shame and anger that I feel that my wife slept with a man, who's close to her family. I feel devalued, pushed aside, territorial and just irritated. I've basically told her I won't allow him to be around us. I can't help but get angry and show it. I feel like confronting the guy if he tries to show up at our family's house. She says she doesn't know if I'll ever be happy with her. And, I really don't know.
You say that your wife has no family or friends where the two of you live.
And then when you visit her family, you would want to do something like confront this guy. As you know, this will most likely cause a lot of family drama and a huge riff in her family.
Sounds to me like you don’t want your wife to have friends and family at all. What a great way to isolate her.
If you “feel devalued, pushed aside and devalued, pushed aside, territorial and just irritated.” And this gets you so angry that you blow up about it, you have a problem. This guy is no threat to your marriage.
You should probably get into individual counseling to figure out why you are reacting this way and how to put this in proper perspective.
And if you cannot deal with your emotions and put things in perspective you may as well divorce your wife because this is going to destroy your marriage.
I guess you now know that you need to discuss previous partners before getting too far into a relationship since you have trouble handling your partner’s/wife’s pervious sex partners.