Re: His Needs Her Needs
His Needs, Her Needs helped us understand each other better. Dr. Harley does take a tougher stance on men, I think (if you go to the Marriage Builders website, there's an article for men titled How to Deal With a Nagging Wife, for example, that starts with addressing behavior that a lot of husbands do that drive their wives crazy). But I've heard Dr. H say that this is because in his practice, he found that many men have a harder time learning how to be "interdependent" as opposed to "independent," while more wives instinctively understand how to take into account their husband's feelings before making decisions. And, he also makes the point that a wife cannot drag her husband uphill. He's had much more success improving marriages when the husband is more motivated to meet the wife's needs than if the wife is more motivated to meet the husband's. He's also said that if the husband no longer desires sex from his wife, the marriage is very difficult to save.