, I don't think doing things around the house is going to help his wife develop feelings of love for him, which she seems to be missing. He's already covered how he spends his non-working time caring for the household and their son.
Yes and no.
Just managing the household, no. If I were to show more initiative on 'manly' house projects, I think she would be more impressed. Home improvements, building a backyard for our son, fixing our landscaping, keeping up with the yard work and car maintenance and the like. Things that men traditionally do.
Again, she wants to feel like she's with a 'real man'. She wants someone she can look at and speak about with pride. Someone who is impressive in his own right, who is a leader rather than someone who needs her support or direction. Someone she can admire and that others can admire as well.
I think the big things that she is looking, those that would earn her admiration and respect again, are these:
- Kicking ass around the house, going above and beyond the basic domestic duties like cooking, laundry, managing the finances, etc.
- Having a REAL career that makes REAL money again.
- Pursuing interests that are significant and meaningful. Having passions that make a difference for someone besides just myself.
- Get healthy again, mentally and physically.
[quoteI think at this point, Dazed is not going to be in a position to get more from his wife until he feels more confident in himself. Do I have that right, Dazed?[/QUOTE]
Well, that would undoubtedly make a difference. It's hard to put my foot down when I'm always feeling like I'm on shaky ground (often with good reason).
And in order to feel more confident, you're going after a career that will provide for the family, correct?
That would certainly give me some higher ground to operate from, yes.
[QUOTEIs there any chance your part-time work can go to full-time? I'm sure this is something you've considered, but a while back you mentioned that your part-time job pays well, so it must be that you're skilled in that industry, right? Any chance you can leverage that to interview for a full-time position out of the house?[/QUOTE]
My current job is definitely a unique situation. I am a business manager/personal assistant for an wealthy, elderly gentleman who has a variety of business interests and investments that need ongoing management, and he doesn't feel like he has the capacity to manage them himself anymore.
My working with him has been a mixed blessing. On the one hand, I'm not really gaining a lot of highly skilled or specialized industry experience, and I'm often bored out of my skull. On the other, he has become like family to me, and I feel honored and privileged to play such a critical role in his life, and by the trust that he places in me (I have access to all of his money and personal business). I'm grateful that I can make such a difference for him.
It's interesting - he would be about my dad's age where my dad still alive, and he lost a son who would be my age around the same time that I lost my dad. I can't help but think that we were kinda 'meant for each other', in that we both help fill a void in each other's lives. He and I are very close, and, at a time where I don't have much in the way of friends or family (I really miss my dad when I think about him), it's been great to have a 'father' that I can talk with (he's the one who told me, 'The secret to a long marriage is to not get divorced!' lol).
But I know that I'm going to need to find something either instead of or in addition to that work, sooner rather than later.