Why do some people remarry after decades of Marriage? - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 38 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 11:15 PM
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Re: Why do some people remarry after decades of Marriage?

I have been with a woman in my life since I was 14. I do not like coming home to an empty house. I like being able to have sex with someone I love and not worry about catching an STD. I like to be in love. I live among over 150,000 senior citizens with women outnumbering men 10-1 since the men die off first most times. Our retirement community that spans 3 counties was written about and it made the news worldwide. It seems that at one time we led all age groups in STDs. The reason is that we are all baby boomers or younger and married so long that we did not use condoms. The women figured that they cannot get pregnant and back in our day, only prostitutes and their customers had STDs. If you had sex with a regular girl, odds were very high in your favor that she did not have an STD.

The women fight for the small pool of available men. They live together, get married if that is financially beneficial or just date different people each week. In my family, the women never remarried but the men did. Then again those that never remarried were raised thinking that sex is dirty. I had a friend who had a bad habit of marrying a much younger woman, then cheating on her and eventually marrying the girl he cheated on. He was on his 4th wife when I saw him last. I once asked him why does he keep getting married when he knows he can never be with one girl and he said it was because he fell in love with the women and they wanted to get married, probably to get hold of his money since he owned an advertising agency. After his 4th wife he almost went bankrupt. Many of his children were at or nearing college age. The last I heard, he was using his TV studio to make porn videos to suppliment his income. Some guys never learn.

I love to be in a relationship but do not know if I will re-marry should my wife die before me. It depends if it makes financial sense of not or if the new girl is hot or not.


Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality when the choice is monogamy or your marriage.

Last edited by Vinnydee; 03-21-2017 at 05:32 PM.
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post #32 of 38 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 11:42 AM
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Re: Why do some people remarry after decades of Marriage?

Some do not remarry however some reasons they've told me..

No longer needs sex - my Aunt who has been alone for 39 years.

No one would compare with my dead husband - A lady from church who had suitors I think she was alone for 20 years.

Personally I can't imagine adapting to someone else at this time to live with them, dating with limits yes.

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post #33 of 38 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 11:55 AM
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Re: Why do some people remarry after decades of Marriage?

Having two people in a house is a far different living situation than having only one. Just adding one person to bounce ideas off of, one person to share meals with - whether there's romance or not - is huge.

I'd say if a person has been acclimated to sharing everything for 50+ years, then when the sharing partner passes away, it's perfectly normal to want another partner. The next one won't be compared with the last, the affection will be different - or maybe not there, at age 70, lots of folks just find any kind of companionship excellent.

There are three kinds of business. Your business, my business and God's business. Whose business are you in? -Byron Katie
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post #34 of 38 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 07:03 AM
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Re: Why do some people remarry after decades of Marriage?

most people cant stand loneliness no matter the age
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post #35 of 38 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 07:16 AM
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Re: Why do some people remarry after decades of Marriage?

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Originally Posted by WORLDJR91 View Post
This is something I have wondered about sometimes. What are common reasons for People to remarry after 30, 40 and 50+ years of Marriage? I am talking Marriages that (were happy ones) ends in the Death of Spouse, not Divorce. Especially when they remarry only a couple after their last spouse death.

I can understand after 10 or 20 Years of Marriage but I wonder about Marriages that were much longer than that. Personally If I was Married for 40 years or 50 years and My spouse I do no think I marry again but that just me.

I don't have a problem with people remarrying after being with a spouse for many decades. Though If I was a Child of a Parent who remarried after being with My Mom or Dad for 50 years I would find it kind of weird or hard to getting used to. Especially if other parents died only a couple years before.

I have a Great-Great grandparent who was happily married for 51 years and had 9 Children. My Great-Great Grandmother died in 1964 and My Great-great grandfather married again in just under 2 years later after her death at age 71 to a woman who was actually same age and had also been widowed once. That Second Marriage only last Five Years when she died.

I think a lot of it has to do with feeling lonely and maybe wanting that companionship.
My wife always told me that if I died she would remarry immediately.
She says she cannot stay alone, and she doesnt really care if the guy is a jackass, as long as she is not alone.

I told her if she dies, I will become a buddhist monk.

So there you have it...the difference. lol
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post #36 of 38 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 07:46 AM
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Re: Why do some people remarry after decades of Marriage?

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most people cant stand loneliness no matter the age
Ones definition of loneliness is another's definition of content happiness.

I'm 6+ years out from my cheating ex and very happy being single. Have several close friends, many hobbies and travel a lot.

I learned years ago that I don't need a relationship to be happy.
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post #37 of 38 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 09:06 AM
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Re: Why do some people remarry after decades of Marriage?

I am married 50 years. I kid with my wife by telling her that I would bring a date to her funeral.

My mother remarried at age 73. She had a really nice few years with "Charley". They knew each other as couples. My dad died, his wife died within months of each other. They started going out together as a pair rather than a foursome. They married in a civil service. It was cute. Her family including grand children were all there. He had no family, he never had children. That year, we took him and my mom out to dinner on Father's Day. It was the first time he had ever celebrated father's day in his life. He cried when we gave him a Father's Day card. He confessed to me that he loved my mom even before the deaths of his wife and my dad. She brought a new vitality to him that he had never known before. I think they had sex but I can't imagine how.

My mom told me that although she always loved my dad, she loved Charley in ways she could not describe. Not more but differently. One can love all of their children even though they are different.

My mom understood love. She described it as a "capacity". One either has the capacity to love or they don't. Some have a huge capacity to love while others struggle to love at all. Most of us are in the middle somewhere.
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post #38 of 38 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:18 AM
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Re: Why do some people remarry after decades of Marriage?

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Ones definition of loneliness is another's definition of content happiness.

I'm 6+ years out from my cheating ex and very happy being single. Have several close friends, many hobbies and travel a lot.

I learned years ago that I don't need a relationship to be happy.
The circumstances of your separation from your marriage was due to cheating not death, this plays a role in your emotional. It would be a different case if you had spent about 30years in the relationship, enjoying every bit of it and all of a sudden death comes calling.

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